“I love you,” I whisper.
The guys get me home and Lief changes from his recent version of normal. He ignores the kitchen entirely and pulls me into his arms. He’s let me have the lead constantly these last few weeks. Instead, he binds me to his body, laying me on top of him and cuddling me close.
“Lief?”
He meets my eyes and I kiss him softly. “Stop thinking about murder.”
“I’m not. No internal dialogue.”
“Stop deciding on murder then. I see it in your eyes,” I whisper. “It’s not the answer. And it’s not the worst option.”
“What is worse?”
“Living a whole life knowing that not a single person that is supposed to love him ... does.” I shrug. “But he doesn’t matter.”
“He bothers you; he matters,” Chase disagrees. “Even if you handle things with maturity.”
“We’re not going to hurt him. We’re going to ignore his existence. If he becomes a problem, we’re going to handle it the legal way. That’s it. He doesn’t get to ruin our lives.”
Hunter kisses the back of my head. “Then, let’s eat pie, watch movies, and have a wonderful night in.”
I nod. “I like that.”
“And we can see exactly how our girlfriend can manage to cuddle three men at once.”
That’s exactly what we do. Lief falls asleep first, petting my hair. His hand falls to the side which is my clue. Hunter’s next, passing out and snoring loudly. I untangle myself to change, then look over the house. This house is my life.
These men are my life. School is my life. All of this is the life I’ve chosen, the one that I’ve decided on. The one that makes me happy. This is the life I’ve made. The one I love.
“Baby doll.” A thick voice behind me says.
Chase strokes my sides and brings me against him. “Do you want to go to bed?”
“I don’t know.”
“What can I do for you?” He asks in my ear. “I haven’t ... I don’t have much experience with this kind of situation.”
“You being here helps. You being there ... it helped a lot, Chase. You have no idea how much I love you.”
“I want to do more than be here. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you happy.” Chase whispers. “I know I haven’t been around much. Our schedules just don’t overlap like I want them to, but I’m going to work on that. I’ll set boundaries. The mafia is a job, not my life. You’re my life, the one I choose.”
I turn in Chase’s arms and kiss him. “Let’s eat the unhealthiest thing we can find by candlelight.”
Chase beams and finds us cookie dough. We get a spoon and eat together while talking about our funniest moments throughout the last few years. By the time we finish talking, my stomach hurts from so much cookie dough that I stretch out and lie down with my head in Chase’s lap.
He groans.
“Chase, do you ever wonder how things would be different if we were normal people? If I didn’t have my family issues? If you weren’t in the mafia? What if you and Hunter and Lief just worked with Gunner and the rest of Sophie’s guys? What if we met normally and we still got to have this?”
“We’d be different people, baby doll.” He says. “Different people who might not have come together this way.”
“Oh, I disagree. I’d still have fucked you at Sophie’s wedding.”
He laughs and takes my hand. “And I know Hunter and Lief would still be as attracted to you as I am.”
“Can you be free on Halloween? I really want to be with all three of you. And the day before.”
“A whole weekend with us?”