“Hey yourself.” Cain tries to keep his tone light, but I know that he knows he’s not fooling me.
I kiss his cheek. “How are you doing?”
Cain’s own brother sold him as a blood slave to a vampire. He eventually was able to escape, with the help of North and Raven, but it’s understandably traumatized him. I can’t even imagine what that must’ve been like for him. I’ve been on the run, but that’s different from being in a cage. Used like that, violated like that.
It’s given Cain a hatred of vampires that runs deeper than that of most fae. I’d say it runs even deeper than mine, and I hadn’t thought that was possible before. Vampires killed my parents when I was just a child, and I’d been on the run, alone, ever since until I met my mates. I was bitter and angry, all the time. Then I ran up against Cain’s anger and bitterness and mine paled in comparison.
I’m happier now, so much happier, with my mates. But it’s still hard to let go of that distrust. So I get it, I really do.
Cain shrugs.
“Is this bringing back bad memories?” I ask.
There’s a long pause before he answers. “Yes.”
Silence reigns for another moment, and then he takes a deep breath. “The worst part is that these vampires don’t seem bad. You were talking with Willow mostly but we talked with Malcolm, Jerrett, and Sol. And they were good guys. It was frustrating. They all clearly love Willow. I mean you’d think the sun shone out her ass.”
I can’t help but smile in amusement, pressing my face into Cain’s shoulder. He’d talk the same way about me, probably. I think it’s sweet that Willow’s men think so highly of her, although Cain seems to think it’s ridiculous that anyone would think so highly of a person who isn’t me.
“And they were very respectful.” Cain adds this part reluctantly. “You never would’ve thought we were fae to them. Potential prey. They spoke to us like equals. I’ve never had vampires talk to me like that before.”
“I know the feeling. Willow talked like we were just two fae. I never felt like she sees herself as better than I am.”
“They love her like we love you,” Cain says, his voice even quieter than before. I have to strain to hear it. “They’re honorable people. Not monsters.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Yes. For all the fae out there. Maybe it’ll mean we won’t be hunted so much. Maybe they can change our world for the better. But…” Cain curls his hands into fists where they rest on his thighs. “It drives home what a monster my former master was. The vampire who kept me as a blood slave.
“All this time I hated vampires, and I thought that was their nature. That they were just driven by this crazy bloodlust they couldn’t control, that becoming a vampire stripped you of all emotion and made you heartless and sadistic. It’s even worse now to know that they do have a choice. That they can be rational and honorable. It means that the man who held me there like that and fucking tortured me did it because he fuckingchoseto. It was his choice.”
“And there’s something extra awful about that,” I conclude, following Cain’s train of thought.
Cain nods. I understand. It means that they’re just like humans, just like the rest of us, able to be good or bad as they choose, and the idea that someone would choose to be so fucking horrible to someone else, to use them and hurt them just for the fun of it, yeah, it makes me sick to my stomach.
I wish I could go back in time and save Cain. I would undo all of his pain if I could. I can feel it almost like it’s my own, a soft echo of what he feels.
I kiss his neck and then walk around to sit sideways in his lap. I press our foreheads together. “What can I do? Is there anything I can do?”
Cain sighs and wraps an arm around my waist. “Just you being here makes it better.”
That warms my heart, and I smile at him gratefully. I’ve never been that kind of person for anyone before, the kind of person where just my presence makes it better for them. “For what it’s worth, you being here makes me feel better too.”
“Wouldn’t be anywhere else, sweetheart.”
I pull him into me so that he can rest his head on my shoulder, and for a moment, we just hold each other. I feel so safe in his arms. For all of our arguments, and we’ve had a couple of intense ones, I’ve never doubted that Cain will keep me safe and look after me. And now I feel that more than ever. We’re similar in so many ways, and I know that no matter what, Cain will be there for me just as I’ll be there for him. After a lot of innate distrust, we’re connected and stronger than ever.
After a few minutes, I’m not sure how long, I pull back just enough so that I can tilt Cain’s face back up and kiss him.
It’s slow and soft in a way that Cain and I rarely are. Raven is the softest of the three, but Cain rarely lets himself be as vulnerable as the gargoyle, deflecting with humor and by being quick and flirty with his words. But this is nice and slow, not even deep yet, introducing tongues bit by bit, taking our time.
It feels like we’re outside of time and space, just the two of us, nothing else in the world. All around us is warm and comforting darkness, the light dim and shining, coming only from the stars. Cain’s fingers trail slowly up and down my spine, and it feels almost like a first kiss in the way we go gently and carefully—except for the fact that by now, kissing him is familiar and comfortable. I know his mouth and his body, and he knows mine, and that makes it even better.
Eventually, though, we do start to deepen the kiss, allowing it to grow more intense. Cain nips at my bottom lip as he slides one large hand up under my large sleep shirt, and he groans as he realizes I’m not wearing any panties. I grin into our kiss, clenching my thighs a little and pinning his hand between my legs.
“You’re wet already,” he murmurs, taking advantage of the way I’ve got his hand trapped as he delves his fingers into my pussy. “I love that you want me—wantus—as badly as we want you. I fucking love the way you respond.”
Rather than answering with words, I just roll my hips against his hand, fucking myself on his fingers and letting him feel just how responsive I can be.