It makes me furious. I want to stop him, even if it means I die in the process. No bastard gets to use me for his own ends like that and gets away with it. And that’s not even thinking about the danger Roanac poses to the magical world—and the nonmagical one if he gets powerful enough. The humans would be completely blindsided.
I run a hand down my scar. If I concentrate enough, it’s almost as if I can feel the pain of my chest being cut open all over again. I shiver. I hate that I’m scared. I hate that it haunts me.
Why did it heal up all on its own and so quickly? How did it do that? I’m still shocked that I didn’t die. But how did I heal up? Roanac wouldn’t have just let me do that. He wanted me to die. There has to be another explanation.
I’m just standing under the spray, enjoying the heat and the feeling of the water pounding into my sore, exhausted muscles, when the door opens and Raven steps inside.
I grin at him, and then crook my finger for him to join me.
Raven is the quietest of the three. North is the leader, and Cain’s the smooth talker, but Raven likes to show his thoughts in other ways. He takes care of us, cooks us meals, makes sure we’re okay. You wouldn’t expect it since he’s huge and looks kind of terrifying in a hot way, with his bulk and all his tattoos, but he’s a real caretaker. He’s the softest of the three, in my opinion.
But his not talking means that I want to double check on him and make sure he’s okay. Cain and I have had our arguments—oh boy have we—and North and I are good about communicating our feelings even if he’s surly as fuck about it, but Raven just won’t talk. He clams up. And he’s my mate, so I know when he’s upset and just isn’t saying anything. I don’t want him to worry about me or carry any burden on his own.
Raven walks over to me immediately and pulls me into his arms. I melt against him, feeling completely and utterly safe with him. From the beginning, Raven has made it clear that he would give his life to protect me. I sure as fuck don’t want him to die for me, but it’s really comforting to know that there is someone out there whowould. Who would put themselves out there like that for me.
After so many years of being alone and only being able to depend on myself, it’s such a relief—a joy, even—to know that there is someone I can depend on. Someone who cares about me. I’m not alone anymore, and I never will be again. I’ve got my mates now.
Raven drops a kiss onto the top of my head and then squeezes me gently. It’s like he’s reassuring himself that I’m really okay. That I’m really here.
I understand the feeling. I kiss his chest reassuringly. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m worried about the future, and I’m worried, more than anything, about my mates. I still have my vision where I’m alone and without them, and I don’t want that to come true. I never want to be without them.
The warm water cascades down on us, wrapping us through touch and sound into a kind of cocoon, like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. I kind of want to stay here forever.
“You’re worried,” I point out, smiling up at him. “I can tell.”
Our mate bond is stronger. I can sense the emotions of the other three men now, and they can sense mine. Once, that would’ve scared me—the idea that someone knew how I was feeling, what my state of mind was.
Honestly, the entire idea of mates wasn’t one that I’d been all that happy about when the men first declared I was their mate. I had resisted it for a long time. But now that I’ve made the choice, it feels so right. I’m so happy.
I think that’s because I had a choice. It was my choice to stay with them, to get close to them and get to know them. And why wouldn’t I, when they make me happy? When they take good care of me and are learning how to let me take care of them?
“I just keep seeing you in my mind,” Raven admits. His fingertips skim up and down my back. “How you were while you were healing. It was the scariest moment of my life. We didn’t know what to do. Not even North.”
Raven puts a lot of faith in North as their leader. As do I.
“We had never seen anyone healing themselves like that before, and we didn’t know how you were doing it. We were scared that we’d do the wrong thing and we’d lose you. Or that bynotdoing anything, we’d lose you.”
“But you didn’t,” I point out. “I’m here, and I’m okay. See?”
“I know that. But it still sticks in my mind.” Raven kisses the top of my head again. “And we could still lose you.”
I take his face in my hands. “You’re not going to lose me. None of you will. I love you, okay? We’re going to stick together through this.”
Of course, I’m also worried still. I don’t want to lose any of them either, and I’m terrified that’ll still happen. So I understand how Raven feels. I just can’t let myself give into fear or I’ll never be able to have the courage to go against Roanac. We have to stop him and we’re the only ones who can.
Maybe that’s arrogant of me, but I have this weird tie to him now, since he has my blood. I know intellectually it’s not my fault, but I can’t help but feel I have a responsibility.
I’m so lost in my worries about Roanac that I don’t realize what I just said until I notice the way Raven is looking at me. He looks overwhelmed, almost awed, and the slow smile that spreads across his face is bright enough to light up the whole room.
“I love you too,” he murmurs softly. Somehow, his smile grows even wider as he brushes his fingers over my cheek. “I wasn’t sure if you’d ever say it.”
Now I’m blushing. “I’ve known it for a while. I guess I was just… I don’t know. Scared to say it out loud? I know I kind of gave you guys a hard time with all of this. I’m sorry.”
“No, I get it. We were strangers. You had no reason to trust us. You didn’t know about the fae world like we did.”
“But you were so ready to be my mate from the start. You looked so hopeful and happy. And I was so stubborn about it.”
“I was willing to wait,” Raven replies, his voice full of honesty. “I knew how I felt from the start, but it would’ve been wrong of me to demand you feel the same way just as quickly. And now it’s given us the chance to get to know each other, and I have so many more reasons to love you.”