“Does that mean you’re accepting the bond?” Cain asks.
Raven doesn’t say anything, but he looks up at me with tentative hope. I know that Raven’s the one who most openly accepted the bond. Cain gave me a whole speech about how he still doesn’t trust me, a speech that honestly sounded like something I would say to someone, a speech that I would give. And I have no clue how North feels.
But Raven’s been so open and devoted to me. I don’t need him to say anything to know how he feels and how hopeful he probably is.
“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. I look over at Cain. I want to ask him what about him, seeing as he told me he doesn’t trust me, but I can’t expect him to be open if I’m not being open myself. That would be unfair.
Cain looks away.
I feel like a dam has been opened, and I’m flooded with emotions. It’s a lot to realize that what I’m feeling is all my own. I kept ignoring it because I thought that it was the mate bond being forced on me. To realize that it’s just natural, that I really had a choice in all of this after all, means that what I’m feeling is all real. No magic at all.
Does that mean that what Cain’s feeling is real? I hope so. I think so. But does Cain think that? How does he feel about it?
Given the fact that he’s just looked away from me, I’m not feeling all that positive about it.
I want to coax Cain in the rest of the way. To ask him if he trusts me now, and what I can do to make him trust me more. But to do that would be to admit to my own feelings. To say that I want to go all the way. Am I ready to do that? Can I admit to that?
I’m not sure. That would mean I’d have to let go of my lingering doubts about what’s going on, that this can possibly be real. I do want them. Obviously. I wouldn’t have strode out into the room naked if I didn’t. But what about my heart? I care about them. Can I admit to those emotions and concede that they’re real?
Can I admit that out loud?
Even if I can, I tell myself sternly, now is not the time for that. We need to develop a plan for dealing with Roanac. My romantic angst can most likely wait until after all of that. Given that our lives are at stake here.
I take Cain’s face in my hands and kiss him. I hope he understands what this means. That I’m not asking for anything yet. We can take some time.
After I pull away from the kiss, Cain’s looking at me again. I still can’t read his face. But at least he’s not dodging my gaze anymore.
“He’s not going to give up,” I point out. “Roanac, I mean.”
The men all look at me. I can feel the anger radiating off of them. It’s not anger at me, obviously. It’s anger at Roanac. It’s sweet that they’re so up in arms about this. At least I know that they’ll do whatever they can to keep me safe.
“He won’t get a hold of you,” North growls.
“But she’s right,” Cain replies. “He won’t stop trying to get at her. He knows about her now. Why use more Aurora Gems or try to find another fae when he’s got a specific one in his sights he can track?”
North looks away with an angry, defeated look on his face.
“Donovan was relentless when he wanted me,” I say, my voice quiet. “Who knows how bad Roanac will be.”
“He was a mage of some kind,” Cain says. “And with shades he can control, and a whole fucking dimension of his own...”
He lets the sentence trail off.
“What do we do?” I ask.
“What would you like to do?” North counters.
“I don’t know.” If I was alone, I’d probably cut and run, as far and fast as I could. I’d have no choice.
But I’m not alone. And these three men seem to have resources and connections. And a real fighting spirit.
“I think we need to stop him,” I admit. “He’s not going to stop. So we need to stop him. And he’s not just a threat to us. He’s a threat to all fae. Perhaps the entire magical world.”
“The fae can’t afford another threat,” North growls. “We’re nearly extinct already. I agree, we have to do something.”
“But we can’t take him on alone,” I add. “We don’t even know what his full plan is. Just that he wants to siphon my power to give him strength.”
“Whatever it is, it must be big, or he wouldn’t need such power to do it,” Cain points out.