I would’ve been pissed had he arrived at nine or ten. That would’ve told me he had dinner with his friends and made himself available to talk to me only after he finished.
But now?
Are you kidding me?
No business dinner lasts till midnight.
He is coming to me to do what? Talk to me? Ask me questions? Give me an explanation?
I don’t need it.
I unlock the door and yank it with so much force it slams into the wall.
He lifts his eyes to me calmly.
My heart starts spinning in my chest, whimpering like a puppy. No matter what he does, and no matter how angry I get with him, I just can’t deny the effect he has on me.
It’s not like I get soft.
It’s not like I get tingles.
It’s not like my hormones run amok.
It’s all that, plus I get frustrated, fascinated, and pulled to him.
I only say two words.
“Go back.”
He doesn’t say a thing.
Only runs the sharp edge of his teeth across his bottom lip as if all this is part of his plan. It’s been anticipated and taken into account.
“We need to talk,” he finally says, his eyes shining like the moonlight dusting his shoulders.
“I can’t talk right now. You need to go back and leave me alone for a while.”
He ponders something.
“You left,” he says in a clipped voice.
“What did you expect?”
The bitter cold makes me shiver.
He notices it and is about to say something else when I jerk my finger up.
“I will not have this conversation now. We ran into each other yesterday. When I say ‘ran’, I mean… We didn’t have a meetup, a date, or a plan to dine together hours ago. You couldn’t make yourself talk to me. You didn’t call before you arrived at the office. You didn’t say anything when you left. After you fucked me in the bathroom. You said you’d talk to me tomorrow. Today is tomorrow. I’m sure that’s not what you had in mind when you said it. I may make money because of you, but I’m not your employee. Get it?”
I think he almost wants to smile, so I shut the door in his face.
I may be comical to him, but I’m serious. And I hate myself for taking it so seriously, but I can’t help myself.
That’s not how I imagined this.
I didn’t think we’d fight over some stupid shit.
After two weeks of absence, when we had barely talked on the phone, I expected something different. What am I saying?