Renovate my place, buy a new car, and count the days until our arrangement is over. It sounds like it’s become too much.
What worked in the beginning no longer works, and suddenly the lustful pleasure has taken a back seat.
These past two weeks, their absence and the lack of communication between Kai and me have weighed on me more than I thought they would.
Whatever happens in the future, this must change because it no longer works.
I’m sure he’d admit to it too.
Francisco has admitted it already. And Alejandro?
I miss Alejandro more than I care to admit.
The snow crunches under my feet as I carefully cross the street, trying not to land on my butt.
I have a bad feeling while cutting my way through the snow.
I need to clean the piles of snow off the road and front lawn tomorrow morning or hire someone to do it for me.
I look up.
My place is sunk in darkness. Sad. Somber. Morose. Abandoned.
It breaks my heart when I peer at it.
I’m the soul of this place, and I’ve completely abandoned it. This is no longer my grandmother’s house. It hasn’t been in decades. I don’t even know if it’s ever been hers.
She bought it a long time ago and left it behind when she disposed of her old life.
Do houses have souls?
I think they do. I think mine does. I’m probably the only living thing that cares about this place. And while I now have the means to move into something bigger and better, I’m in no rush.
I want to show it some care and make it my place.
My true place. I want it to represent me.
And I want to give it a part of my soul.
I want to come home from a soul-sucking world and find a warm place.
My place.
I want it to beam with life and be full of light.
And I want to protect it.
No one will cross its threshold again without my permission. No more breaking and entering, and no more suspicious sightings.
I want to feel safe, and I do feel safe because I’m ready to face those stupid dicks disrespecting my place.
That’s why I won’t let it be someplace where anyone can sneak in and look for stuff like it’s an antique shop.
That won’t happen again.
The snow is too high to use the front door, so I head to the back of the house, navigating an ocean of icicles.
I unlock the door and collect the spare key stored in the hidden nook.