“I think all people want it…” he says. “Well, no. Probably not. But I want it. And Alejandro wants it. And maybe you want it. I don’t know. It’s not a bad feeling. It’s just intense, and it bounds you to someone who’s initially a stranger. It’s magnificent to watch if you have the opportunity to witness it. So, no. He doesn’t want you to fight for him. He wants a woman who feels deeply for him. As you can see, he is a very generous man… He can live with things most men wouldn’t. He gives you something most men wouldn’t. And I am not talking material things here. He offers you many opportunities. He is not afraid. It takes a lot of gut to do what he does and put his heart on the line. He could lose you to Alejandro or me. Or his friend, Roman. He doesn’t fare well when he notices your attachment to us––he is human after all, and has feelings––but he opts to conceal his feelings so you can choose in the end. He wants you to have the life that you want, be it money, people, or other things, and it will be up to you, in the end, to go for what you truly want. He won’t force your hand or try to convince you one way or the other. And he will throw obstacles at you to the point where you know for sure what you really want. He is selfless in a way, although it doesn’t seem that way.”
He opens his eyes and squints at me.
“You won’t be able to understand him for a good while. And maybe things will never work out between the two of you. I’m sure he’s taking that into consideration.”
“What would’ve happened had we not had this agreement in place?” I murmur, looking at his lips.
He notices the direction of my gaze and pushes up again, so he can lie on his side and face me.
“Are you talking about pursuing you and stuff like that? Dating you?”
“Yes.”
He mulls over his answer.
“I don’t know… He’s never done it. But everything is possible… I guess. Would you have liked it?”
Now that he says it, it gets me thinking.
I’ve never thought about it seriously, but I liked Kai a few weeks back when he stopped at my place, and it was only us.
When he put up the lights outside, and we had dinner together. When he had entered my house as if he’d come home.
I frantically peered at his house and learned things about him. I loved his life. And now I’m living it. And it’s different than what I imagined.
Sometimes it’s different good, and sometimes it’s different bad. And most of the time, it’s overwhelming.
I push my thoughts back and ponder something else.
How would’ve things been had we followed a more conventional path?
“I don’t know…” I say before giving it some thought.
Would it have worked? Dating? Going out for dinner? Introducing me to his father? And their world?
My world never intersecting with theirs?
Kai built a bridge for me and pulled me to his side. Maybe he regrets it. It hasn’t been easy.
He pulled me into chaos, and then I had to learn.
“It wouldn’t have worked,” I say.
Yes. It wouldn’t have.
“That’s what I thought…” he says, his eyes glinting with affection for me.
He touches my neck and strokes me gently before leaving a kiss on my cheek.
“Let’s swim…” he says quietly, his hand still on my neck.
He doesn’t move, and I don’t move either as we stare at each.
“I would’ve stayed last night,” he says quietly. “And I would’ve stayed with you at the hotel,” he adds. “But as I said before, you didn’t need me. You needed him more than anyone else.”