I shrug and don't even blink. “I can handle it.”
I can see the question in her eyes. I know she's wondering why I'm insisting that she stay. We just met. But even knowing that, I know that I can't let her go. No one will protect her like I can. She looks at Nash, and I hold my breath, waiting for her response. "I'll stay with Kane," she tells him.
I'm not ready to think about why that makes me happy. I’m sure I’m reading more into it than I should be.
Nash pulls his business card from his wallet and hands it to her. "If you think of anything that you think would help the case, give me a call, or if you decide you need somewhere else to go, we can handle it. I'll be in touch."
I nod my head as Nash walks away. It's only once he is out the doors that Allison finishes off the last of her shots.
Chapter9
Allison
After that last shot, I'm more relaxed than I have been in a long time. A few of the guys from the club have gathered around Kane and me. We moved to a table to accommodate all of us, and I can't help but laugh at the stories that they're telling. My sides are hurting, and my cheeks hurt from laughing so much and so hard. It's late, and I'm thankful that I don't have far to go. "You ready to get out of here?" Kane asks me.
I nod my head, smiling up at him. “I’m ready.”
We walk toward the front of the bar with Kane's hand on my lower back. As soon as we get outside, I stumble on my feet, and he grabs me around the waist, his fingers digging into my skin. Kane puts his arm around me to hold me up. "You okay?"
I look up at him, and even though it's dark outside, the streetlight gives me a view of his face. His gaze is intense, and it penetrates me. My whole body trembles from the contact. The longer the night has gone, the more sexual tension there's been between the two of us. Random touches as we sat next to each other have gotten me hot and bothered. I know I shouldn't be thinking the things that I am, but I can't seem to get the thoughts out of my head. It’s been so long since I’ve felt any kind of intimacy with someone, but it’s something I want with Kane.
I stare at him so long I’ve forgotten his question. He's not smiling as he asks me again, "Are you okay?"
I nod. And instead of pulling myself from his arms, I scoot closer to him. "Yes, I'm fine." I grab on to his hand and hold it as we walk across the gravel lot. Neither one of us say a thing, but he does tighten his hand around mine.
As soon as we get to the big doors of the clubhouse, he squeezes my hand and lets it fall between us. As we walk through the clubhouse, there are only a few people sitting at the tables. I make my way down the hallway, not wanting this night to be over with yet.
Normally, I wouldn't say anything, but the alcohol has made me brave. "Are you embarrassed of me?"
"Embarrassed of you? Why would you ask that?”
I shrug. “I don’t know... I just... forget it.”
“I won’t forget it. Of course, I’m not embarrassed of you. That’s crazy talk. But you've been drinking and..." His voice trails off as we walk past a few of the guys. They've clearly been drinking, and they nod as we pass them.
Kane has his hand on my lower back, leading me down the hall to the bedroom. I walk through the door, but he doesn't look like he's going to come in. I stare up at him. "I've been drinking, and my husband just died. Is that what you were going to say?"
He stretches his arms over his head and grabs on to the doorway above him. He lets out a gruff sigh. "Yeah, that's what I was going to say."
I swallow thickly. "My marriage wasn't a marriage. I married him because he said he could help save my mom. Insurance didn't pay for her cancer treatment. My husband said I wouldn’t have to worry about a thing, and I was stupid. I married him, but there was no saving my mom. She died a few months after our wedding. I wanted to leave, but he said he would kill me if I tried.”
Kane reaches out and puts his hand on my shoulder as he looks at me with pity. “Oh, Allison.”
“No, I don’t need pity. My mom is in a better place. She doesn’t have pain anymore. But I need you to know, I guess. I need you to see what kind of person I am, Kane. I’m not good because even though I didn’t kill him, I’m happy that my husband is dead. I can just imagine how that makes me sound."
I put my face in my hands, not wanting to look at him. I don’t want to see the look of disgust or absolute horror on his face after what I just confessed.
He moves closer to me and grabs my hands, pulling them away from my face. “Look at me.”
I shake my head.
His voice softens. “Honey, look at me.”
Finally, I lift my eyes. He shakes his head. "It doesn't make you a bad person, Allison. It sounds as if you’ve been through hell and back, and you’re glad it’s over, that’s all. There’s no faulting you for that."
I search his face, and I can’t keep it in any longer. I don’t want to lose this feeling I have when I’m with Kane. I grab the front of his shirt and pull him. He comes easily to me, not stopping until our toes are touching. "I'm not drunk, Kane. I just want one night to forget about my life. I want to find comfort in someone's arms instead of pain. You can tell me no, and I’d understand, but I’m hoping you’ll say yes."
His head tilts to the side. I can see the internal battle that he's going through. I know he wants me. I can tell by the way that he looks at me that he wants me just as much as I want him. So I stand here with the yearning blaring from my eyes and wait, holding my breath, hoping he'll say yes.