Chapter 10
Bethany
I blink my eyes open, a slight headache wrapping around my head. it isn't as bad as some hangovers have been, and the fact that I remember drinking is a good sign. I wasn't really knee walking puke and pass out drunk like I used to get sometimes when I was younger. It's just an annoying twinge that I am sure a little caffeine can cure if I am willing to slide out of this bed and try not to wake Leon up in the process.
Leon...
I look next to me seeing that we are both naked and kind of entangled with each other. he has mostly thrown the blanket off of him at some point in the middle of the night, and now that we are in the light I can fully examine and appreciate his body. he is totally out, so I allow myself a moment to do just that. His skin is pale and his muscles hard but he sis till thin kind of like Adam Levine. Also like Adam Levine his body is wrapped up in so many tattoos I can’t count them, and there is something so fucking hot about it I almost want to wake him up by riding him, but I hold back. I am no longer as free now that I am not tipsy, and I still don’t know if last night was a good idea. I had specifically told him that I didn’t want it to be a date, to which he agreed.
I do not blame him for what happened at all. It was totally me who initiated it, but it may have been making a move a little too soon for my own good. Though, the sex was amazing. I didn’t expect that. Somehow Noah’s comment had rooted itself into the back of my head and made me believe there was a chance that no one would ever get me off as good as he does. I have had issues in the past with other men utterly failing at that, always feeling like something is wrong with my body. It is an insecurity I regret sharing with my soon to be ex-husband - assuming my lawyer can get him in line and make him sign the papers some time soon.
The problem is that Leon seems like such a good man I want to like him. I want to more than like him. But there is always that chance that just like every other guy o have fallen for too fast that it’s all a lie, a front, a amsl. That he is too good to be true.
What if it is just another shit storm waiting to happen just like with Noah?
I finally get up, rolling carefully off the bed and out from under his hold as I slip on some drawstring pants and a tee, pulling my hair up into a bun. I need to get some coffee in me so I can think better, and I need to find Natasha and have a little girl talk so I can work through this before I try to talk to him about it. because I know Leon is not a one night stand type of thing ag=after how close we have gotten, but I don’t know if I can trust him to be more than a friend right now either...or ever for that matter.
Natasha is just passing out breakfast to Nina and Anton as Simion is in a baby bouncy seat cooing and playing contently so she can cook for her family. I go up beside her and turn on the coffee maker so that there will be a fresh pit in a moment, and it gives me a chance to get Natasha’s attention when she comes back up to finally make her own breakfast.
I admire her family for the way it works. even though she is so glamorous, and they are so rich, they still take that time as a family to eat together and do some of the work themselves. It is so normal I almost want to cry. I am not ready to rush into another marriage or having a family, but I know this is what I crave to have a few years down the road if I can ever find someone that doesn't fuck me over.
"Hey, I haven’t seen Leon." Natasha waggles her eyebrow at me as we talk quietly.
I roll my eyes at her and blush a little. Wow, that’s new...
"Yeah, so he took me out last night and we had a fair amount to drink.." I trial off. I am sure she can grasp the rest of the details. "It was great, but now I think that I'm afraid I am just going to get blindsides again."
Natasha puts her hand on her hip and turns to me. "Look, I'll be honest; I am rooting for Leon. I know him quite a bit. maybe not as well as Anton does, but he seems like a really good guy, and I have never sent him so taken with someone. But..." She puts her finger up to shush me, knowing I am about to butt into the conversation. "I understand your concerns. I would say just take it slow and take plenty of time for yourself."
I let a breath out I was holding as I reach for the mugs and pull them down so I can pour coffee for us both. "My therapist has been saying the same thing, just to go slow and make time for me since I haven’t had any. I need to learn about myself again."
I pour some creamer in first and sugared before putting the Columbian roast on top and letting it mix itself, just the way we both like it.
"Exactly," Natasha agrees as she plates her food and carries it over to the table, offering me a little. I turn it down and simply follow her, sitting down next to her. I am not going to be able to eat for a couple hours.
A knock comes at the door, and all pf us turn towards it, staring at it. it’s a little early in the morning for any visitor, and my blood feels like its freezing up in my veins. of course, my first thought is that Noah himself has finally come to pay a visit. I am suddenly glad I am in the main house with the others and not in the guest house where I would be more vulnerable.
Anton answers the door luckily, but he comes back with an envelope in his hand and passes it to me, It is rushed and delivered by courier, addressed to me.
Leon walks in just after that as I drop the envelope to the floor as if it has burned me.
Leon doesn’t say a word, walking over quickly and picking it up curiously.
"Noah, seriously?" he asks, and I don’t think I have seen this side of him yet. I still don’t know how much he was joking when he had mentioned making Noah suffer, but he hadn’t seemed angry. The comment had been in an even tone, but he looks like he could kill someone this time.
"I think it’s time I take care of this asshole."
Natasha steps forward and puts her hand up, her seat squeaking against the tile. "Leon, you can’t handle shit. I get it, but she has to handle some of these etchings herself. She needs to do it her way."
I have to agree considering what we just talked about. I have to learn to be my own person so that no one can ever control me again. It’s part of healing. "It'll be different once we're divorced," I assure him.
"That’s bullshit and you know it!" he is looking right at me. "Noah will always be lurking around, harassing and stalking you."
Now, I am mad. I can’t help but feel yet another person is trying to tell me what I should and should not do in my life. "You mean like you are?"
It was probably the ring thing to say, but as he walks out and slams the door ebhod him, I don’t get a chance to take it back.