“I just found out!” I growl and watch his forehead furrow in confusion.
“Jeff didn’t tell you?”
“Yes, he told me. That’s why I’m here!”
Reed still looks confused, but I don’t give a damn. I’m tired of talking about this shit.
“Let’s back up for a minute. Let’s say you didn’t know anything about being Lennon’s father. Stand back and just look at Katie and what has happened. I know that you can’t tell me you haven’t wondered once in the last seven years if Lennon was yours. You had to, Jake. Youhadto.”
“I–”
“And not once did you approach Katie and try to be a father to that boy. So, you can act like a son of a bitch now all you want, but you’re not the only wronged party here. You’re not the only one hurting.”
I don’t respond to him. I don’t have anything to say. He’s right. I did suspect I was Lennon’s father.
Yet, that’s the thing about some lies. They’re damn easy to believe.
CHAPTER 4
Katie
“Jeff, please call me back. We need to talk.” I sigh as I click off the phone.
I’m sitting in the driveway at Jeff’s mom’s. Thankfully, Jake’s truck isn’t here yet. Then again, I am early. I was just too nervous to sit around and wait. I didn’t sleep last night. My brain won’t shut down, and I’m worried that Lennon is going to get hurt.
“You can’t sit out here all day, honey.”
I look up to see Barb walking toward my car and sigh. I love Barb. I never really had much of a mother, but I had my grandmother. She’s been everything to me for as long as I can remember and the reason I didn’t go to a home and live in foster care. Granny’s been sick for a lot of years, but I’m thankful every single day that she’s still here with me. Still, if I was going to wish for a mom, it would be Barb. She’s got determination and a love that shines through everything she does. She always puts her kids first in her life and has been the best grandmother to Lennon that I could ever ask for. I love her. I respect her, and I’d be lost without her.
I look at her as she walks to the van and get out so I can stand beside her. I leave it running because Lennon is sleeping in his car seat. Leaning on the side of my van, I struggle to look Barbin the eye. This is hurting her. I know Jake is mad at her, and it’s all my fault. I’m feeling guilty. Hell, the weight of my guilt is something I’ve been living with for years–since Lennon was born, really.
Today, Barb is looking as beat down as I am. She’s still beautiful. She always has been. She’s tall and curvy with light blonde hair that somehow absorbs the gray without notice. It used to make me smile how her blonde hair is so light and her sons both had dark brown. She’s wearing jeans and a light pink, sleeveless shirt that shows off her sun-kissed skin.
“Do you hate me?” I murmur, asking her the one question that I’m terrified for her to answer. Sadly, I need to know.
“Stop that talk. You know I think of you as my own daughter.”
“Your daughter who has slept with both your sons. Jesus, I sound like a bad joke from a Jerry Springer show.”
“Well, in your defense, I raised some damn good men–even if Jake is being a horse’s ass.”
“You raised panty-melting men, and I’m a ho.”
“Oh please, you’ve loved two men your whole life, and you loved them in different ways. Stop listening to the old biddies in this town and ignore them.”
“Says the woman who has only loved one man her whole life,” I mumble.
“And look where that’s gotten me. You have nothing to be ashamed of, Katie. We all handled this wrong. We should have told Jake.”
“You meanIshould have told him,” I argue.
“Baby, we all made the decision,” she says gently, reaching out to hold my hand. “I may not be proud of my part in it, but we all did this together–even Jeff.”
“Have you spoken to him?” I whisper, pain wrapping around my heart and squeezing. She’s completely right. I’ve loved bothJake and Jeff. They’re as different as night and day, but I did love each of them–even if it is in different ways.
“He called me last night to let me know he was okay. He asked about you and Lennon.”
“He’s not answering my calls,” I murmur, and the pain that comes with that small admission is so intense that it feels like I can’t even breathe.