I somehow manage to tighten it. I feel kind of proud of myself. It was simple, and Jake had to explain everything, but the point is, if it happens again, I could probably tackle it without much thought.
I turn to look at him, his face so close to mine that I can feel his breath—sweet and minty.
“I did it,” I murmur.
“Now, we turn on the faucet and see if anything looks wet,” he replies, and it’s not my imagination that his voice has dropped in tone again—or that his eyes are staring at my lips.
Shit. What is going on?
Jake hates me. I hate him. That’s our reality. What is this undercurrent of electricity that seems to be moving between us?
Why am I turned on?
I could deny it, but there’s no point. I am turned on, and my body is definitely reacting to Jake in ways that it has no right to do.
“You two about done under there?” Reed asks before I can do something even more stupid like kiss Jake.
What is wrong with my hormones?
Jake clears his throat, but for a second, I think I see regret in his eyes. “Yeah, we’re done,” he says, staring at me intently. “For now,” he adds but in a whisper that is meant only for me. Nervous butterflies take flight in my stomach. I feel completely out of my depth, and I don’t know what to think or do. So, I do the only sane thing I can do.
I ignore it and go join everyone else. There’s safety in numbers, right?
CHAPTER 18
Jake
“We win!” Lennon yells, making me laugh.
He’s so happy. We had a great weekend, but it was clear he missed his mother. That means having pizza here is probably the best idea I’ve had in a long time. Reed’s idea to play Rummy after pizza was even better. I can admit that I felt a little let down when Lennon wanted to be Katie’s partner over me but watching the two of them together has been worth it.
“We did. Give me five!” Lennon gives her five, and Katie raises her hand. “Up high,” she laughs. Lennon gives her five again, stretching on his tiptoes. “Down low,” she adds, moving her hand way down. Lennon tries to hit it and Katie cackles, “Oh, too slow,” moving her hand before Lennon can touch it.
“Mom!” Lennon protests but giggles at the same time.
Katie wraps her arms around him and hugs him close, and he hugs her back, smiling so much that his mouth must hurt. I watch them, and my heart squeezes in my chest. I’ve loved my life. I loved being on the rodeo circuit. Breaking up with Katie was the hardest thing I ever faced, and fuck, it’s the one thing I didn’t want to do—ever.I did it for her, even though it killed me and nearly brought me to my knees when she moved on with mybrother. When I finally found out about Lennon, I mostly hated her and Jeff.
Still, I couldn’t hate her completely because I’m the asshole who wrote her that damn letter. I’m the one who pushed her away, and slowly, I’m beginning to realize I made her feel like she couldn’t confide in me about Lennon. That doesn’t condone what she did, but then again, I’m not blameless either. We were both young and stupid—and I’m more of the last. I can’t go back, but I can go forward, and I need to do that. I need to do that for Lennon and for me. The thing is, I’m not sure I can handle watching my brother come back and take my place in Lennon’s world—in Katie’s.
They belong to me. There’s still chemistry between me and Katie. That much was clear earlier when we were working on her water leak. I can use that to my advantage. I need to make this work because if I have to see my brother taking the role of father to my son….
I won’t be able to keep from killing him.
“You look like a man with a lot on his mind.”
I grimace and turn to look at Reed. I love him. In a lot of ways, he’s been closer than my own brother to me. It’s hard to be around him right now, though. He kept Katie and Jeff’s secret. He knew about Lennon and didn’t tell me. Hell, everyone here did. My mother did and Jeff? I will never forgive him. I don’t have it in me, and I don’t give a fuck what that says about me.
It’s just true.
“I guess I do.”
“I know you’re still pissed at me.”
“Now’s not the time, Reed.” I tell him, watching Katie, Callie, and Lennon, as they talk about some new movie that Lennon wants to see.
Miss Hazel laid down for a nap about an hour ago, and it’s getting late. I’m going to have to head home soon, but I’d bethe first to admit that I don’t want to leave. Things are tense at Mom’s lately, that’s true. It’s not that, though. I feel more relaxed here than I have in ages. It’s damn confusing, but it’s true just the same.
“We need to talk about things, Jake.”