Now, I’m thinking he’s just one more Ryan boy who found me lacking.
“Don’t be like that, Jeff.”
“Like what?” he quips. “I’m not being like anything, Katie. I’m just simply stating facts.”
“You know what you’re doing, and nothing between Jake and I is like what you are implying. I’m having dinner with him and Lennon because we spent the day school shopping. I want to make sure we introduce Jake slowly into Lennon’s life. So far, your brother is agreeing to that.”
“How nice of him.”
“It is. He’s mad at me and he has a right. I should have been the one to tell him that he was Lennon’s father.”
“We agreed that I should speak to Jake,” he growls. “Besides, it was my brother who was an asshole during that meeting. He doesn’t deserve a place in your life or Lennon’s.”
“I know. Still, I’ve never felt comfortable with that decision. You knew that. I wanted Jake to have his dreams and not blame me or Lennon but…”
“You can’t forgive the things he did just because you’re fucking him again, Katie.”
My body physically jerks with his attack. “I’m not sleeping with Jake. I wouldn’t do that to you—to us.”
“You’re not sleeping with himyet, but you will. You don’t need to deny it. We both know you will.”
“Wow. For someone who claimed to love me, you sure have a lot of faith in me—”
“Katie—”
“In my love for you, even. I know the whole town thinks I’m nothing but a whore who will spread my legs for any man with the last name Ryan–”
“Katie.”
“But you, Jeff…You should know better.”
I hear him let out an audible breath, and if I close my eyes, I can see him rake his hand through his chestnut hair. The man on the phone is not the Jeff that I was slowly falling in love with.This is the Jeff I was afraid I would turn him into. The one mad at me because I didn’t give more, move faster…
“I’m only going by your history with Jake, and you can’t deny that. He comes back in the picture, and that’s all it takes.”
Another blow delivered. Another sin of my past thrown up in my face.
“You act like I’ve lied to you. I never went there with you, not at all until Jake was a hundred percent out of the picture.”
“And yet here we are, and you’re choosing him over me, yet again.”
“That’s funny because I thought it was you that I was getting ready to marry, Jeff,” I snap, letting my anger get the better of me.
“You called that wedding off, Katie, remember?”
“Just for that day. We couldn’t go through with it after everything that happened. I thought we could get married quietly and work together to come up with a plan on how to deal with Jake. You didn’t give me that option. You left and I waited for you, Jeff. I sent for you.You—not anyone else.”
“Katie, cut the bullshit. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit what everyone in Macon already knows.”
“Jeff—”
“I’ve always just been a poor substitute for Jake. He’s the one you’ve always wanted.”
“Once he was, but I was over that. I was over him. I was going to marry you. If you had stayed, I would have proved that to you.”
“Or you would have left me again.”
“Are you ever going to forgive me for breaking up with you? I told you that I did it for you, Jeff. I wanted you to find someone without a heart that was broken. I wanted you to find someone without baggage. I thought when we got back together anddecided to get married, we were going to leave the past behind us and start fresh.