I nod. “He won’t tell Elijah or me exactly what happened.”
“You may have to do some digging.” Amanda reaches over to the table and grabs her laptop. “It’s time to put the internet to good use.”
We spent the rest of the evening searching for information, but we couldn’t find his records because Elijah was underage. What I do find breaks my heart. His mother passed away over a year ago, and I hope it wasn’t while he was sent away.
“You don’t remember anything else?” Amanda asks.
I shake my head. “When we left that summer to go home, I didn’t know anything was wrong. It wasn’t until the next summer when he didn’t show up that I began to ask around.” I furrow my brow. “People acted oddly around me, and it makes sense now. The house they rented stayed empty until another family bought it.”
“You’re going to have to talk to him.”
As if on cue, my phone chimes, and I grab it out of my bag. I don’t remember giving Elijah my number, but I’m not surprised that he has it. I stare at the text asking me where I went.
Me: I wasn’t feeling well.
Elijah: Am I going to see you tonight?
Me: No, but we need to talk.
Elijah: I understand. Let me know when you’re ready.
Staring at the screen, I wait for another text from him, but nothing pops up. My feelings overwhelm me, knowing that he cares enough to reach out despite everything my family put him through. Amanda pulls me close as I completely break down, crying ragged breaths as I wipe tears off my face with my coat sleeves. I laugh like a nut when I realize that I’m still wearing my coat.
Amanda frowns with concern. “Maybe it’s better if you don’t know too much. I mean, you’re not really going out. Apologize and move on. Maybe that’s all he really wants.”
I shake my head. “It’s not what I want. I want to be forgiven, and I want to be in love.”
“What about Lucas?” she whispers.
I wipe my face in my hands. “I don’t understand why my heart only wants Elijah, but I do know if he doesn’t forgive me, it will break. My heart won’t love anyone else.”
Chapter Twelve
Olivia
Maybe it’s because of what happened in class or because I’m afraid to find out that what happened was my fault, but I’m not ready to learn the truth. If I wasn’t feeling torn, I’d find him and have the hardest conversation of my life. Did I cost Elijah his freedom by wanting him?
Once again, my mind isn’t in the game as a ball speeds past my head. Lacrosse is a no-contact sport if you’re on a woman’s team, but that fact doesn’t stop Nikki from getting into my face. She has her index finger pointing in my direction as she charges straight for me.
“Do you want to play, or do you want to stare off into space?” she shouts.
All I can see when I look at Nikki now is her naked body on the bar where he works.
I don’t know what comes over me, and I charge at Nikki, grabbing her by the waist and knocking her down to the ground. Petite little Nikki is no lightweight. She kicks out her right leg, causing me to trip over it, and I fall to the ground beside her. We lock into a tumble as we take a piece out of one another. The team has to pull us apart again as the sound of blowing whistles echo across the playing field.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Nikki struggles as Lia and Sam hold her back.
“You’re the freaking problem, you bitch,” I shout back.
“You’re off the team,” she screams.
This was one fight too many, and we both end up in the coaches’ office with bruises and a few less chunks of hair. We sit calmly side-by-side as if we weren’t at each other’s throats less than an hour ago. Our labored breathing is the ambient sound in the coaches’ office as we wait for the head coach to intervene.
Nikki looks over. “What was that fucking about anyway, Livi?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I fold my arms, refusing to turn my head. “I got carried away. Sorry.”
My apology is flat, and Nikki sighs. “You have a lot of anger packed in that punch.”