“Hey, Livi,” Nikki slurs slightly, “This is Elijah, the guy I told you about.” She looks at him. “She said she knows you.”
I want to fall to the floor and crawl away through the legs of the crowd to a place where I can’t be seen. I refuse to look at Elijah straight-on, but from the corner of my eye, I see him smirking with satisfaction.
“Excuse me. My name is Lucas. Livi’s date.” Lucas and Elijah shake hands, but it looks more like a pissing contest. Their hands stay clasped a moment too long until Lucas decides to let go first. Then, silently, they check each other out with ferocious stares that would make a weaker man beg for mercy.
Nikki teeters on her heels and grabs hold of Elijah’s arm again. “Well, that was awkward.”
Nikki heads off with Elijah, who starts taking pictures of the boisterous crowd. I glance over at them, and Elijah points his camera straight at me. He lowers the camera, and my gaze is locked on his grin. Even in a crowd, the way he looks at me makes me feel hunted.
“Come on, Livi,” Lucas gazes past me and glares. “Let’s find our seats.”
Lucas held me for the entire concert. He wraps me in his arms, and I’m not feeling it as he hugs me close. Of course, he’s heavier than I am, and his bulky body weighs me down in a smothering bear hug. And during the concert, Lucas gazes at me and sings out of tune with the chorus, using another man’s words to pledge feelings for me that I don’t feel for him.
I try to get into the show, but chills shoot through me whenever I catch sight of Elijah by the stage. Strobe lights illuminate his contorted expression as he stares at Lucas pawing at me. I thought it would send a message, being with another man. But instead of feeling protected, I think I made a dangerous mistake. I detach myself from Lucas, untangling him off me with a grunt.
I’ve lost sight of Elijah, but my nerves are on alert. Eventually, my attention returns to the music, and my hips begin to sway to a beat that wraps around me. And I remember a time when I was a kid and used to listen to my old iPod by the lake. The music would echo off the water as Elijah and I sang along in unison.
***
“You’re completely off-key,” I tell Elijah.
His face turns beet red as he ties his shirt around his waist. I don’t mention it again as I lie on the dock and stare openly at him, noticing how different his body is compared to mine.
“Do you know what men and women do when they get close?” I ask, rolling onto my belly. “My friend says they fit together like puzzle pieces.”
“Let’s talk about something else,” he says, grabbing the iPod off the deck.
I smile at his shyness. “That’s your superpower. When you’re embarrassed, you’re even sweeter.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” he mutters.
I laugh. “You shouldn’t be around me. I’ll always be your friend, and that means I’ll always love you.”
Elijah leans over me, his lips so close to mine. Naughtily, I reach up and pull him down against my mouth, licking the sweetness of strawberries off his lips.
***
The audience starts to shout and clap, and I wake from my memories with my fingertips pressing against my bottom lip. The pleasant feeling holds me a little longer, and I savor those old emotions that I thought had disappeared. I wince when Lucas lets out a deafening whoop against my left ear. This is a good time to disappear into a bathroom stall and seek out some personal space.
“I’ll be back,” I tell Lucas.
“Want me to go—”
I cut him off. “No. I’ll be back.”
I skip the bathroom on the upper level with the long line and head for a staff bathroom in the basement. Anyone can use it, but most people don’t want to climb the stairs. As I slip inside the old bathroom, an usher is hanging out in the hallway, smoking a cigarette. The school never updated the bathrooms since the day the university was built. The walls are an ancient cream color, and the stalls are literally water closets. The doors go all the way to the floor. An old chair is pushed against the wall under a shut window. I stare for a moment to make sure it’s locked.
I have to pee so bad that it feels good. It also feels good to have a moment alone during a date I wish would end sooner rather than later. I debate on hanging out here for another fifteen minutes when I hear someone come in. I pull up my jeans and flush, debating on waiting for the other person to leave first. I lean against the door and listen.
I watch as the doorknob in my stall turns. I’m about to yell out that I’m in there, but I don’t. Let them figure out that the door is locked. I wait a few more minutes before I’m bored enough to actually want to see Lucas again. That is mean. Why don’t I want him? Is this how it feels when a person settles? I step out of the stall and walk over to the sink to wash my hands.
“So, is he your boyfriend?”
I let out a scream when I see Elijah sitting on the chair.
“Are you fucking crazy?” I ask him.
“Are you fucking him?” he asks bitterly.