“No need, they’ll love you,” I tell her. “In fact, my only worry is that my mom will see through us and start getting ideas.”
Moira nods her head steadily while offering a small shrug. She’s got something on her mind. Shooting me a nervous smile, she turns around to take care of her other tables.
Two hours later, my parents arrive, looking completely out of place. My mom’s hair has been coiffed to perfection and her outfit screams “I just left Barney’s and I’m on my way to lunch at Crustacean.” My dad looks like he’s about to play eighteen holes in his pink plaid pants and polo shirt. All eyes in the diner turn to them as they make their way over to my table, sliding into the booth across from me.
My dad glances around, before whispering, “What’s everyone staring at?”
I lean toward them. “You’re not the typical kind of people they’re used to seeing around here.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Moira staring, too. She’s busily running her fingers through her hair to tidy it up. The sight of her looking so nervous makes me realize she shouldn’t have to meet my parents for the first time while she’s serving them. Moira picks up two mugs and a pot of coffee and walks over to us with a bright smile plastered on her face.
Grinning up at her, I say, “Mom, Dad, this is Digger’s sister, Moira Bishop. Moira, meet Isaac and Rose Caplan.” Inside my head I hear a fictional television announcer say, “Welcome to the Isaac and Rose Show!”
Setting down the mugs, Moira shakes hands with both of my parents. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Your son has been a welcome addition to Gamble. He’s been very generous with his time helping people out around here.” She sounds like she’s been rehearsing her lines.
My parents look confused by this description of me. They know me as a super busy entertainment lawyer who hires his whole life out because he doesn’t even have time to pick up his own dry cleaning. Not as someone who goes out of his way to help others.
“Moira’s being kind,” I tell them. “I just lent a hand with some painting one day.”
“He’s also helping my son’s baseball team raise money for a trip to see the Dodgers in LA,” Moira nervously adds. “You’ve raised a fine person.”
“Thank you.” My mom continues to look totally confused, which isn’t very flattering.
The front door bursts open and the boys come racing in. “Mom, I’m so thirsty, I could die,” Ash announces, grabbing his throat with one hand for dramatic effect.
“I’m so hungry I could eat a bear,” Colton adds. “I need food now or I’m going to faint.”
The three of them rush over to my table, stopping short when they see my parents. “Where are we supposed to sit?” Wyatt asks, informing my parents they normally sit with me.That’s going to be a discussion.
“How about at another table?” Moira rolls her eyes to the side to indicate the booth next to mine.
Before they leave, I perform quick introductions with my parents. I do my best not to laugh when Ash bows to them with a flourish like he’s a courtier meeting a king and queen.
Moira tells the boys, “Don’t you dare sit down before you wash your hands.” As they thunder away, she turns to us. “Sorry about that. Now, can I get you some coffee?”
“No, thank you,” my mom says. “We only drink it first thing in the morning, on account of Isaac’s insomnia.”
“What can I get for you, then?” Moira nervously shifts from foot to foot like she’s getting ready to run.
“I’d like a cup of hot water with some lemon in it,” Mom says. “It’s a great digestive.”
“I’d love an iced tea,” my dad tells her.
“I’ll be right back.” Moira bolts toward the counter.
My mom stares at me for a second. “Those boys eat lunch with you every day?”
“They do,” I tell her.
“Why?”
“It turns out I’m pretty cool.”
“But they’re sowild,” she whispers.
“They’re kids. That’s how normal kids act.” I feel a lot more defensive about Moira’s boys than I should.
“I don’t know about that,” my mom says. “Running into a restaurant and yelling.”