“I can’t take a sabbatical from raising my kids. But I suppose there might be something I can do about being lonely.” I stare at him intently.
“Of course, you can,” he says, making me want to lean in and kiss him. Instead, I look down at our hands, letting myself enjoy the feeling of such a simple touch.
“Which client gave you such great advice? If you can tell me, that is.” God knows he’s probably signed so many nondisclosure agreements he can’t say much.
“Ellie Fansworthy,” he says.
“No way!” Ellie is like the Oprah of the millennial generation. She doesn’t have a television show. Instead, she came to fame on YouTube before practically taking over the world on TikTok. She’s created such hashtags as #wantitgetit, #youdoyou, #makeupyourmind, and #boardyourvision
“Are you a fan of hers?” he asks.
“I like watching her videos. They make me feel hopeful. But I’ve never made a bucket list or done a vision board or anything like that.”
“Honestly, I used to think what she does is a bunch of woo-woo nonsense, but now I’m not so sure,” he tells me. “It’s hard to believe that just gluing some pictures on a piece of cardboard will change your life, but I think it has something to do with prioritizing what you want. The first step to any success is realizing that you want it.”
“Ifyoudon’t change, nothing will change,” I say, repeating Ellie’s famous tagline.
“Exactly. Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yes.”
When he speaks again, he lets the words rush out. “I don’t ever want to go back to practicing law. This writing thing may not work out—I’m mean, let’s face it, it’s a total long shot. But deep down, I know my days at the firm are over.”
A tiny glimmer of hope sparks at his words. It’s not like he’s started house hunting in Alaska, or even hinted that he wants to move out of LA. And yet, a flicker of warmth builds inside of me. “That’s huge, Ethan.”
He swallows hard. “I know. I spent my entire adult life getting where I am today so the thought of giving it up is more than a little scary. But after taking this break, I know it’s what I have to do.”
“Good for you for figuring that out,” I say, meaning it.
“I’m still working on the rest, but my point in telling you this wasn’t to talk about me. I just wanted to help you get unstuck.” He twists his body toward me. “You want someone to share your life with, but you’re understandably worried you’ve forgotten how to be in a relationship.”
“Among other things.” My whole body heats up as I confess to that.
“What if you used me as a practice boyfriend while I’m here? Just to get your feet wet in the whole dating scene. We’d both go in knowing that whatever happens between us has an expiration date. But even so, I think we’d both benefit.”
“So, we’d just try to enjoy being together for a short time?” If we were really deciding to be a couple, I’d be jumping in his lap right now.
“No pressure, no expectations. Just me treating you like a queen so that when you get out into the dating world, you’ll know how you should be treated.”
Every cell in my body is singingyes, yes, yes. “That’s quite an offer. But as tempting as it is, I’m afraid it would be too confusing for the boys.” What I really mean is, it would be too confusing to me, and I’m terrified of crossing the line and getting my heart broken.
“We’ll tell them we’re just friends,” he says, his eyes flicking down to my mouth. “You’re an amazing and beautiful woman, Moira. Let me help you feel special, even if it’s just for a while.”
My heart pounds in my chest like a bongo drum solo. The attraction between us is undeniable and a voice inside my head is begging me to give myself this one gift this one time. “It sounds reckless …”
“Maybe a little recklessness is what you need for once in your life,” he murmurs, leaning in. “Maybe it’s what I need, too.”
I react on instinct before I can let my brain take over. Leaning as close to him as I can get with the armrest between us, I close my eyes, and press my mouth against his in an achingly tender kiss.
He kisses me back, gently, carefully, tilting my head so he can deepen our connection. A surge of passion hits me, the likes of which I’m not sure I’ve ever felt. All reason leaves my head and the only thought left is that I don’t want this feeling to ever end.
We stay like this, our mouths moving together in perfect unison for a long time, before Ethan finally pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. “Is that a yes?”
Chapter18
Ethan
My heart bangs in my chest while I wait for Moira’s answer. I shouldn’t be pursuing her. I promised myself I wouldn’t. And yet, I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to just kiss her and be near her. I’m aching to show her how perfect she is and to give her a taste of what a good relationship should be like. Truth be told, I’d like to experience that for myself, too.