Okay, so the memory about him picking me up and bringing me home is real. Now to figure out what happened after that. “So, did you … uh … that is to say … sleep here?”
He smiles slightly while nodding his head.
“In my room?”
“Yup.” Son of a …did he sleep in my bed?I can’t bring myself to ask. He watches me closely before pointing across the room. “Over there in the chair.”
Thank God.“Why exactly?” I’m having a devil of a time meeting his gaze.
“I was getting ready for bed when Moira called, and by the time I carried you here, I was wiped out.”
“I’m so sorry,” I mumble. “I’m not much of a drinker.” I chance a glance at him from under my lashes.
The look on his face is so intense it’s practically melting me from the inside out. “Clearly.” He stands up and walks out of the room while saying, “I’m putting your coffee in a thermos. You can drink it on your way up to the lodge.”
“No, thank you,” I call after him. “I think I’ll go back to sleep for a while.”
He walks back in, shaking his head. “You’ll feel like crap all day if you do that. What you need is some fresh air, followed by a giant breakfast to soak up all the…whatever you were drinking last night.” He reaches his hand out to me.
I don’t want to take it, but I do. As he pulls, I moan. “I never get drunk.”
“Sometimes needs must. I’m guessing Brett was the last person you expected to see up here yesterday.”
Ugh, Brett. “You could say that.” His name alone makes me feel queasy. He’s the reason my kids aren’t here right now. Not that I want them to see me in this state, but I feel totally empty without them.
Once I’m on my feet, I stagger into the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. I gasp when I see my reflection. I look like a ferocious animal, all wild-eyed and mussed. I hurry to make some order out of my appearance before joining Digger in the kitchen.
He hands me the thermos. “I put in two sugars and some cream.”
“Thanks.” The first sip is pure heaven. “Whatever genius decided to roast coffee beans and grind them before soaking them in boiling water should be canonized.”
After pouring a thermos for himself, he says, “Let’s hit it. I’m on kitchen duty and I’m running late.”
Our hike to the lodge is more of an Olympic speed walking event than the gentle stroll I was hoping for. “Before you crashed last night, you mentioned something about having friends come up today. Was that real?”
Nodding makes my eyes feel like they’re bouncing around my head like two rubber balls. “Prisha and Ethan. She’s my PR person and best friend, and Ethan is my lawyer and … my other best friend.”
“Do they know Brett is up here?”
“That’s why they’re coming. Word on the street is that he’s on the cusp of losing the Helioman contract for not living up to the terms of his morals clause.”
“What’s that?”
I’m about ready to jump on Digger’s back so he can carry me. I can’t keep up with him. “Slow down, will ya?” He immediately slows his pace. “A morals clause is something actors sign when the studio is worried they might do something in their personal life that will jeopardize the success of the movie they’re working on.”
Digger starts to laugh. “That’s kind of hard to believe. It seems to me the entire industry is based on philandering and bad behavior.”
“You’re not wrong. The rule of thumb is that anything goes as long as you don’t get caught. Brett thinks that if he comes crawling back to me, I’ll take him, and the studio will forgive all the questionable press he’s had lately.”
“He can’t possibly think you’re so stupid as to go along with that.” When I don’t answer right away, he repeats himself. “Can he?”
My head drops and I stare at my feet while answering, “I’ve always known about Brett’s cheating. Getting pregnant with Lily was supposed to be a renewal of our love and commitment to each other. Unfortunately, that only lasted until the pregnancy test came back positive. After that, Brett started sleeping with his co-star.”
“Which, of course, is why you can never go back to him.” He stops walking and stares at me pointedly.
Yesterday I had all but decided that nothing could keep me from leaving Brett. He deserves a world of hurt and I was happy to do my part. But this morning, when I woke up in a cabin without my kids, my heart felt like it was being held in a giant fist intent on pulverizing it. Liam and Lily are my whole world and the thought of missing out on any time with them is unbearable.
“I have kids, Digger. They are the most important thing in my life, and they deserve to have their father around.”