Bella
Later that evening,I was sitting in the rocking chair next to Brendan’s crib with him curled up in my arms when Miranda popped her head in.
“Is he asleep?” she asked with a slight nod in our direction.
“Yeah, he was exhausted. Almost passed out while I was bathing him. I hope he’s not coming down with something.”
She stepped the rest of the way into the room. “It could just be a growth spurt.”
“I hope so… has everyone left?”
Miranda drew closer, never one to beat around the bush. She didn’t even pretend she had some other reason to come in besides to talk to me. “Yes. Rhett and Ashley helped clean up and then headed home.” She eyed me like she wanted to say more but seemed to decide against it. “Here, let me take him. You’ve been up here for over an hour.” A nod of her head indicated to the sleeping child in my lap.
“He wanted two extra books and cuddles tonight.”
She leaned over and gracefully scooped Brendan into her arms and positioned him against her chest before I could even blink. I prayed I would be half the mom she was. I didn’t know how she’d done it with five kids. I was exhausted most days with just one.
“I don’t know how I would have done this without you.” I pushed myself up from the chair, guilt gnawing at me that I had to depend on her and George so much. But that would have to change since I’d decided earlier tonight that it was time to get my own place. I also needed to figure out what to do for a job and childcare. The only thing I knew for certain was that I couldn’t stick around and watch Rhett marry Sarah.
“Oh, Bella. You are so strong, smart, and stubborn—I have not a doubt in the world you would have done just fine. But I’m happy you let me talk you into coming to stay with us, because I get to see this precious little boy every day.”
I frowned, knowing she was going to be hurt by my next words. “I’m making plans to go stay with my dad for a few weeks,” I blurted. “And… I’m going to look for an apartment or something. Not in the city, but I can’t stay here any longer. It’s just too…” I searched for the right words.
It’s always best to rip the Band-Aid off, right?
She surprised me by giving me a look full of sympathy and understanding. Her mouth opened and then closed, like she was carefully considering her next words.
But I continued, hoping that she truly understood what I needed to do. “I’m twenty-seven, and I have Brendan. I think it’s time he and I have our own place. When I came to live with you guys after he was born, it was just supposed to be for a year so I could have a little help and save money.”
She sighed. “We’ll miss you and Brendan, but we understand.” Then she reached out and palmed my cheek. “If it will help, we can disown Rhett,” she said with a knowing smile.
I was so shocked by her words that I wasn’t sure how I even formed a response. “He’s your son—you can’t mean that. Besides, this has nothing to do with Rhett,” I lied.
“You’re right… I don’t mean that. I love all my children the same—but sometimes we wonder where we went wrong with that one.” She shook her head and then continued with, “George told me earlier that he thinks Rhett has his head so far up his ass he’s surprised he can walk straight.”
“He thinks he’s doing the right thing,” I mumbled.
But what would he do if I told him what I know? Would he believe me?
I pushed the memories of that night away, refusing to let my mind go there.
“Marrying someone for any reason other than love is never the right thing… for anyone involved.” Miranda gently laid Brendan in his crib.
Maybe if I’m getting us our own place, it’s time to get Brendan a toddler bed. I can’t believe he’s old enough for a big boy bed. He’s growing up too fast.
Miranda leaned closer to give my shoulder a quick but warm squeeze. “I’m so sorry Bella—I know he has your heart. Always has. But I promise, one day you’ll find someone who’s worthy of your love.”
I closed my eyes to stop the tears pooling behind my lids.
“Just know that I look at you like one of my daughters, and that little boy like a grandson. Always. No matter what. Hear me?”
My eyes fluttered open. “Yes, ma’am,” I choked out over a silent sob.
“Good, now come on. You need your rest. Do you need anything?” she asked as we made our way out into the hall.
“I think I’ll make myself a cup of tea before bed.”
But it didn’t help. And an hour later, instead of sleeping, I was obsessing about the mistake I’d made the summer Rhett first kissed me. We were all so young then, but maybe, if I had been more honest with Caden, he would have been around to be a dad to his son.