“Wait, just fucking wait a minute.” From behind me, his hoarse voice startles me as I finish buttoning my capris. I then turn around slowly, waiting. Just as he asked. “I expected a lot of different scenarios; that wasn’t one of them. I’m shocked, and I need a minute.”
I can see, very clearly, that Andrea was right. A day or two away from each other is what we both need. “I know. And you take all the time you need. I’ll be gone for a couple of days, and you can have that time to think, evaluate, decide…whatever you need it for. When I come back, we can talk again.”
I hope.
Ten
LAKEN
I can do this. I can.
Sitting on the witness stand, I feel Mason’s eyes on me. I caught a momentary glimpse of him before Andrea instructed me not to look his way. Not to give him that power over me. “Take a drink.” Lauren pushes a glass of water towards me from my left. Since arriving back in Seattle yesterday afternoon, Lauren has been my rock. My biggest supporter. When she found me crying in bed in the middle of the night, she didn’t judge me, didn’t ask questions, and simply placed a cool cloth over my eyes, so I wasn’t swollen when I woke up this morning.
Despite my reservations, I’m also leaning into the victim role again. Andrea insists it’s beneficial to my case, but I hate wearing the oversized dress and cardigan, and I especially hate toning down my makeup. I don’t wear it a whole lot to begin with, but I dislike giving Mason any reason to believe I’m still the beat-down girl who left him almost a year ago.
I’ve grown.
I’ve aged.
I’ve finally begun to understand that I deserve more than what he gave me.
My ears begin ringing as the bailiff announces the judge, and we go through the motions of discussing the case and what’s being asked for and by whom. When I feel Andrea nudge my foot with hers, I remember to breathe, and the ringing stops just in time for me to be called to the stand. I don’t want to go.
As I get to my feet and turn towards the aisle, where I’ll have to pass Mason and his lawyer, I’m ready to vomit or pass out. Or both.
The look on his face as I quickly shuffle past the two men is passive. Neutral even. But his eyes are filled with pure hatred. Bone-deep promises of retribution and pain. He will make me pay for this. I don’t understand why he won’t just let me go.
After swearing to tell the truth over the Bible, Andrea stands up with a reassuring smile on her face as she walks forward, subtly maneuvering herself so that I can’t see Mason, and hopefully, he can’t see me. “How are you today, Laken?” Her soothing voice helps ease my anxiety.
“Nervous.” She told me yesterday to be honest about everything, even how I feel.
“Nervous? How come?” Her head tilts to the side, and I have to drop my eyes so I don’t catch another glimpse of Mason as he leans over to speak to his attorney.
“Mason.” His name feels so foreign on my tongue.
“Your estranged husband?”
“Yes.” I was warned multiple times that I would have to acknowledge who he still is to me.
“Why?”
Taking a calming breath, I look to Lauren for strength, and she nods imperceptibly. “He terrifies me.”
“Objection!” Mason’s lawyer jumps to his feet.
“It’s how she feels, Your Honor. She’s allowed to be afraid of people, is she not?” The last part is directed to the defendant’s table.
“Overruled.”
“Thank you. Can you tell me why you feel terrified of Mr. Miller?” Andrea’s smile is sympathetic this time.
Outwardly sighing, I don’t know where to start. “He has hurt me in the past.”
“Hurt you how?”
“Physically, emotionally. Because of him, I suffered three miscarriages.” I feel my throat fighting to close, my eyes blackening around the edges. Talking about those losses is still so very fresh and challenging.
“Three miscarriages,” Andrea speculates. Her glare cuts over to Mason. “How did he do that?”