“I’ll just be a minute.” She hands Jesse his cupcake and lemonade before dashing to the back and past Ophelia.
I follow her, and Ophelia shakes her head at me but goes over to sit with Jesse while I try to figure out how to fix my fuck up with Laken. “Don’t be pissed,” I say when I see her wiping her face with her apron before she turns her back on me.
“I’m not.” Her answer is tear-filled and tinged with longing.
“Then what is it?” Placing my hands on her hips from behind, I press my body to her back and hold tightly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him sooner. In all honesty, I wasn’t ready to share you yet. I also didn’t want to scare you off. I thought you liked children.” Leaning my forehead to the top of her head, I close my eyes and breathe her in. My second favorite thing to do when it comes to Laken; licking her is my first.
“I love children, Hale. I want a dozen of my own. I was just taken by surprise, and I’m terrified.” She spins to face me, and when I gaze down at her, I can see it. The fear is so evident, so consuming, that she can’t see straight.
“Of what?”
Her crestfallen eyes slowly lift to meet mine, and the pain reflecting back at me is different than anything I’ve seen from her before. “There’s so much you don’t know about me. About my past.”
“Then tell me. Tell me everything or some small part. No matter what you say, it won’t scare me off, Laken. There’s nothing in the world that could.” I wish she knew how true that was because I’m pretty sure the fact that I spy on her every night and still follow her would have her running for the hills.
Pressing her head into my chest, I feel her rapid breathing as she decides whether she can trust me or not. I wish it were an easier choice for her. I wish I knew what to do or say to make her feel safe with me. Turns out that patience of a saint thing is bullshit.
Laken
A son. Hale has a son. I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s virile, attractive, loving, and so kind—the type of man any woman would want to have a child with. I’ve had the same thought before too. Only I didn’t realize how true it would become. Or how jealous I would be.
“In time, I will. It’s hard explaining it, reliving it, moving past it. It’s all so hard.” I wish it weren’t. And maybe it wouldn’t be if the divorce proceeding wasn’t rapidly approaching.
“So you don’t hate me then?”
“No, Hale, I could never hate you. Not in a million years. I was just surprised.” Jesse is so sweet. From the time we met the other day to today, he seems happy and loved, and that’s all that truly matters. “Was that your parents with him the other day then?” He nods as we pull apart. “They were kind.”
“Typically are. Jesse is their life now that they’re both retired.” His words are spoken with fondness and gratitude. I imagine it makes his job easier knowing his son is cared for by people that adore the boy.
“What about his mother?” Spotting Ophelia and Jesse watching us, I smile and wiggle my fingers in a wave at them both. They duck back out to the front before Hale can turn around and spot them.
“Now, that is a complicated story not meant for when he’s around.” I understand that far more than he’ll ever know.
“So, pizza then?” His face lights up, and he leads me out front, where Jesse is sporting green stains around his lips from the cupcakes Op and I made this morning.
“Ready, kid?” He nods before waving at his partner in crime and dashing out the front door and down the sidewalk. “The pizza place is just down the block. You okay with walking?”
Hale tangles our fingers as we begin moving, and I realize more and more that I have to tell him about Mason. I’ve been battling with myself over this for days, but now that his big secret is out, it’s imperative I tell him mine as well. I just need to figure out the right timing is all.
“Like this?” I glance at Jesse dubiously because I think he’s lost it.
“Yeah, then roll it up so you can use one hand.” He demonstrates with his own pizza, showing me how to eat it both like a sandwich and New York style. With one slice of cheese and one of pepperoni smashed together, we roll the crust in the middle and single-handedly take a massive bite of our concoctions.
Jesse’s bite is twice the size of mine and way too big for his youthful mouth, so he winds up with sauce all over his face and cheese dripping down his chin, but I’ve never seen a happier kid.
“You two are nuts.” Hale shakes his head at us as he goes in on his typical three-meat slice.
“Says the man who’s eating like a normy.” A word Jesse taught me that makes his dad glare every time he or I use it. I have to admit, the two of them together are a beautiful sight.
Hale is so intense, driven, focused, that I would never have imagined he had such a well-rounded and happy child at home. I have a million questions, mostly about where the boy’s mother is, but I don’t know how to ask them without sounding jealous. Or if I even have the right to ask them.
“Can I go play Pac-Man, Dad?” Wiping his face, Jesse hops up from his chair, bouncing from foot to foot, waiting for a coin from Hale. As soon as he has it, he’s off to the corner of the room where there are four arcade games. Pac-Man is the only one I recognize.
“Are you still pissed?” Hale’s question catches me off guard as I swivel around to stare at him.
“I was never angry; shocked, but not angry. We don’t know each other well enough to tell every little secret to one another, Hale, not yet. Not revealing you had a son was protecting him and probably yourself. I would never fault you for that.” I wish he understood why.
“Do you have questions?” Leaning forward, he grasps one of my hands, turning it over to lay in his palm while the fingers on his other hand draw lightly in the pad of mine.