She nods and the sadness I caught earlier is back. It’s only visible when she allows it to be, and for some reason, she wants me to see it. “You have no idea.”
My mouth opens, and I try to think of something to say. Lindy and Alexi are still here, so is Stoli 2. But Kat and I are in our own world right now, oblivious to everyone else. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was Kat’s twin sister because all of the vulnerability is throwing me for a loop. Still hot as fuck, but this version of her seems to feel.
“You can visit him anytime you want,” I blurt out, catching Alexi’s jaw twitch out of the corner of my eye. “I bet he’d love that.”
Her smile fades, her hand dropping to Stoli 2’s head. “Thanks, but sometimes you just have to say goodbye.”
“That’s fucking dismal.”
“It’s life.”
There’s so much I want to ask, so much I need to know.
I thought I wanted this girl before but seeing this side of her…the one that actually cares, the one that experiences pain and loss…I just want to pull her close and hold her without the risk of a deadly chokehold looming. It’s like she’s a superhero or something. In human form, she’s like one of us. But when she’s in kill mode, she takes on a completely different façade, one that’s impervious to emotion.
She pulls away, and I feel the loss.
Stoli 2 rests his head on the top of my sneakers.
I guess he does, too.
Looks like we’re gonna muddle through this together.
Once I finish the paperwork, I slide my chair back and stand up. “Thanks, Kat,” I say, realizing I forgot to drop my voice. Dammit.
A tight smile stretches across her face. “Be good to him.”
I nod, fighting the urge to punch the smug ass grin off of Alexi’s face. “I’ll see you around.”
Lindy and I walk out of the shelter with Stoli 2, and I fling an arm across my sister’s midsection, preventing her from moving forward. Not until I take in the sights. I check left and right before removing my arm.
“Rocco, what’s up with you today? You’re so jittery. And you kind of screwed up with Kat in there, too. Just saying. You losing your edge?”
I pull open the door to let Lindy in and then run around to the driver’s side. Another all-over check confirms there aren’t any people in sight, just cars zooming up and down the street. But there’s a heaviness in my chest, some sick feeling that I’m missing something.
I shake my head and hop into the truck. “She’s not interested, Lindy. Drop it, okay?”
“I’m just saying it looked like she was hot for you, not the Russian.”
Ruff! Ruff!
Lindy giggles. “That’s right, Stoli 2. Tell him we like Kat and we want her!”
I turn on the ignition and merge onto the road.
I want her, too.
But thanks to the Salesis, I know too much.
Too many things that would hurt her.
Or worse. Much fucking worse.
I can’t say anything.
I can’t give her what she wants…what I know she needs.
She’s never spoken the words, but I’ve seen glimpses of her pain.
I could have helped her heal.
But I made my bed. Sealed my romantic fate.
I chose the family.