“Yeah, none of our guys showed up. I was by my fucking self.” Pete keeps going, spewing expletives, but I can’t unhear all of that.
I write a few things on the chart, trying to calm my racing heart.
This shouldn’t shock me.
It’s something I’ve suspected for a long time. Jesus, how many signs do I need to tell me that this is bad? That I should run, not walk, in the opposite direction of Max Oriani?
But I know that for as many signs, I’d come up with even more excuses to fling myself back into his waiting arms.
Because even though I see what’s he’s capable of, the proof of what he does when he’s not with me, I can’t break free.
So forget Max for a second…how sick and twisted am I?
I finish up with Pete and flash him a small smile. “The doctor will be in shortly.”
He barely acknowledges me, still grumbling into his phone. But I’ve heard more than enough. I just don’t know what to do with any of it.
Confronting Max is something I’ve never done. Part of me doesn’t want to confirm any of my suspicions.
He’s not that guy…
Is he?
And here’s the big question, which really makes me doubt my sanity…would I care?
Jules and I walk out of the room and she’s still fixated on Max while I’m trying to process what I just heard. I file the chart and we head toward the elevator.
The doors open, and we get in. “So,” she says, a teasing smile on her lips. “Is he coming to the benefit with you?”
The elevator pings and we step into the hallway in the Pediatric Oncology Unit. I pat the top of my bun and shove a couple of loose strands of hair behind my ear. I try to mute the questions peppering my mind. “Yeah, but who knows what’ll happen after that? I think he’s just coming to show moral support anyway.”
“Wow, so I finally get to meet this guy whom I’d chalked up to be an urban legend?”
“Yes. Moral support or not, he wants to be at the benefit.” I bite down on my lower lip. He never made me any promises. “But I’m not getting my hopes up. Things he said to me that night…I don’t know…he’s never opened up like that. Ever, and I’ve known him practically for my whole life. I just don’t want to pretend it’s something that it’s not, you know?”
“If I were you, I’d keep pretending. It’s worth all the orgasms. Trust me, there are too many guys out there who think good sex is when they come.”
I roll my eyes. “Noted.”
Jules winks at me. “And now that you’re occupied with Mad Max, what about poor Dr. Kiley? He’s going to be heartbroken.”
“I’m sure he’ll be just fine, especially since you tend to make a lot of this stuff up in that pretty little head of yours.”
She runs a hand through her glossy dark ponytail and swivels in the direction of the elevator. “I’m heading back down. Let me know if you’re in the mood to share any of the erotic details later. I’ll save you a seat at the lunch table.”
I swat at her ass. “What would I do without my supportive friend?”
“Well, now I know who you’d do.” She winks and disappears back into the elevator.
I smooth down the front of my scrubs and take a deep breath. The agitation still pools in my belly, but I ignore it. I can’t worry about Max’s extracurricular activities right now. I need to focus on something much more important. The doors leading to the Pediatric Oncology Unit are painted a bright yellow, and the walls are alive with brightly colored flowers, trees, butterflies…all the makings of a beautiful and cheerful spring day. But beyond those doors, there is an ominous cloud that looms. No matter how much positivity we feed this wing, the deep-rooted fear is still ever-present.
I take a deep breath and hit the button to open the double doors. Little voices echo in the expansive space, and just being here makes me smile.
“Nurse Sloane! You’re here! Are you going to play in our Fortnite Championship?” One of the little boys, Ian, asks me.
I bend down and give the bill of his baseball cap a little tug. “Sorry, pal. I can’t today. We have a new patient named Eli, and I’m going to meet him.”
“Did you find a really cool buddy for him yet?”