“Is he going to be okay? Have you heard anything yet?” Mom wipes away the tears streaming from her eyes. “Will he—?”
“Mrs. Salesi,” Sloane interjects. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but why don’t I take Lily for some ice cream and give you two a chance to talk privately?” She looks at me. “I’ll find you as soon as Dr. Jameson is out of surgery.”
“Thanks, Sloane.” I graze the back of her shoulder. “I really appreciate it.”
Mom forces a smile. “Yes, thank you.”
“Lilibelle,” I murmur, setting Lily on the floor and smoothing down her hair. “My friend Sloane is going to take you to the cafeteria for some ice cream. Is that okay?”
Lily looks up at Sloane, sniffs, and nods. “Yes.”
Mom gives her a quick hug. “I’ll come to meet you in just a few minutes, pumpkin.”
“Okay, Mommy.” She holds out her hand to Sloane and they walk down a corridor toward the cafeteria.
I take my mother’s hand and lead her toward a row of unoccupied chairs in a corner. An image of Carlo’s mangled body flashes across my mind, followed by one of his wife crumbling to the floor once Duke and I delivered the news to her that night. He was her life. And she lost him because of me.
Tears pool in my mother’s dark eyes, her mouth quivering as she struggles to maintain some degree of composure. My dad, her best friend and confidante, is lying on a table in the operating room with massive internal bleeding from the hit, and at this minute, I have no idea if she’s about to lose him, too.
“I’m so sorry, Mom,” I whisper. How can I comfort her when her soulmate is clinging to life, hooked up to machines that need to breathe for him because he can’t do it on his own? He should have never been in that car. If I hadn’t stormed out of there, if I’d have just stayed and talked to him instead of losing my shit like that…
They would have still found him
I know that in my heart.
My gut clenches. He may die, and I never got a chance to tell him I’m sorry. I need to apologize for so damn much. I can’t lose him. Not yet. Not this soon, not this way. He has so much more to see and do. His wife, his baby girl…fuck! This was in my control and I fucked it all up!
I clutch the sides of my hair and tug at them, letting out a low growl. “I’m sorry for doing this to you, to Lily. It’s my fault! It’s my fucking fault!”
And in a blink, my mother’s arms capture me and hold me tight. I try to pull away, to force myself out of her grip, but it’s too strong.
I don’t deserve any mercy. I don’t deserve her comfort.
She doesn’t agree. “Stop this,” she murmurs, rubbing my back. “You’ve been given a lot, Nico. Dad knew it would be hard for you to step into this role, but he always felt confident you’d be able to handle it. It’s a dangerous life. Always has been. And you know as well as I do that Dad has done plenty to make himself a target. Don’t think for a second that you put your father in there, because you didn’t. This is the life we chose and with it comes a lot of decisions and consequences.”
Her voice quivers, but her words hit me like a cement block. I stay in that spot for several minutes…I think, but I can’t be sure. It feels like time stopped when that truck plowed into my dad’s car. Seconds drag, feeling like hours. I let the grief pour out of me, allow myself to really feel the losses instead of suffering in silence. I don’t give a fuck if it makes me look weak. Somehow, just the opposite happens, and I feel empowered. The sadness, the guilt, the remorse…there was so much polluting my soul, so much I could never allow to be seen because of peoples’ perceptions of who and what I am...what’s expected of me.
Fuck that. I’m letting it all go. I have to if I’m going to do what I need to do to finally make things right. I can’t allow myself to be crippled by these useless emotions anymore. As they vacate my body, the grit and focus that have long been buried are finally exposed. Those are the things I need right now, not all of the other bullshit that’s been plaguing me.
I may not be a killer, but I’m not a fucking pussy either.
I’m the CEO, and this family is my business.
My first task is to find the competition. Right now, they’re underground, working in the dark, undetected like fucking cockroaches afraid of being exposed.
But I’m gonna shine a bright light onto them, making them scatter and panic so they can see their end…right before I crush the bastards.