“Don’t beat yourself up over it. He wouldn’t want that. And you’re here now.”
“Yeah…” My heart is pounding like a jackhammer, drowning out all sound, and I almost miss his reply. A lump the size of a golf ball has taken up residence in my throat and squeezing out a response is near impossible.
But, as it happens, talk is overrated.
He pulls me close, bending down to press his swollen lips to mine — hot, intense, and hungry for any crumb I’m willing to drop. His strong hands fist my long hair, his kiss deepening with need. I wrap my arms around his tall, muscular frame, melting into his warmth.
My mind is screaming at me to pull away, to stop this craziness. This behavior is so unlike Nico. He never loses control or shows his hand. It’s why he’s such a valuable asset to the family.
He doesn’t really want me.
Or does he?
His fingertips move to my back, pressing into my spine as they travel under my sweater.
My knees buckle and I collapse against him. This is bad…wrong on so many levels. Am I willing to be used? To be his comfort fuck?
His lips scorch a path down my neck and then to my ear, igniting my desire with each nip and tickle of the scruff peppering his face. My panties are already clinging to my body, soaked with a need that only he can satisfy.
Yes, yes, hell, yes!
Holy crap, Max would kill me if he knew where I was right now. Ugh! Stop! He’ll never know. Dad will never know. This can work, this can happen. Oh God, I want this to happen…
A heavy, musky scent swirls around my head, intoxicating me and drowning out any shred of sensibility remaining in my very aroused body.
He grips the hem of my sweater and pulls it over my head. It falls to the carpet in a heap, joined by the black miniskirt and tights he peels from my legs. He takes a few steps back, staring at me like a starving lion eyes his prey. Thank God, my bra and panties match. Thank God, I waxed. Thank God—
Reality smacks me like a rubber glove across the face. I’d never be standing here if Grandpa Vito wasn’t dead.
That thought has little time to linger before Nico’s lips crush against mine. My fingers fumble with his belt buckle as his hot tongue coils around mine, plunging deep, staking its claim. I push his jeans and boxers to the floor and he kicks them off with his feet before lifting me into his strong arms, then tossing me onto the bed. He yanks off his black t-shirt, exposing pecs and abs I’ve only dreamed about licking. Heat creeps up my neck and into my cheeks, and the same warmth pools between my thighs.
He inches toward me, looping his fingers into the sides of my lace thong and pulls it away from my throbbing pussy. Without breaking his gaze, he reaches around me and unclasps my bra. It falls to the floor, and I kick it aside, every nerve ending in my body crying out for attention.
The intensity of his stare sends a shudder through me. The swollen head of his cock rubs against my slit, and I let out a tiny gasp. I have no idea what to do next.
I’ve never even seen a naked guy before, much less been naked with one. I’ve kissed guys, even let them cop a feel, but that’s about it. It’s too hard to squeeze my eyes shut and pretend that any of those faceless guys are Nico. It works for a little while, until the truth stops me from going farther.
But I don’t say a word. I’ve been in love with Nico for as long as I can remember, and if I tell him I’ve never done this before, he might stop. And he needs this. I need this.
Nobody will ever know - not my family, not his family.
He guides me onto the mattress and slides his body against mine, his ripped, hard muscles flexing as he adjusts his weight. His fingers tangle in my hair, his eyes heavy with lust and an even greater sense of loss. For whom, I’m not sure. For losing his grandfather…or for losing me. But there’s something deeper; I just can’t read it. Maybe I don’t want to.
I pull him down to me, aching to take him in, to feel him move inside of me, to finally know what it means to be alive.
This moment won’t mean anything to him, but it means everything to me.
He grabs a condom from the bedside table and slides it on, positioning himself at my opening. I swallow hard, my pulse rocketing with each passing second, bracing myself for…Jesus, I have no idea. His hands run up and down the sides of my torso, my skin tingling under the pads of his determined fingertips. They grip my hips and tilt them upward, giving him leverage. He dips his head down to my abdomen, his lips searing my skin as they move up toward my mouth. Only when his lips connect with mine, does he push into my body, tearing through my innocence, and making me feel whole at the same time.
In that second, he ruined me.
I press my fingers into his back, biting back the scream that threatens to escape my lips. Each initial thrust burns like a motherfucker, until the blissful point where it feels so damned amazing takes over. His strokes are long and deep, and I clench my muscles to pull him in farther. His hand reaches around the small of my back, tilting me upward, giving him full access to everything I have to offer. A tingling sensation rumbles in my core and explodes as his hard cock rockets me into an orbit I’ve never known existed. I let out a tiny shriek and he silences it with his mouth.
Our bodies are locked together, moving in perfect rhythm, physically connected. But I can still feel the void that consumes him. Even those delicious aftershocks still zipping through my body can’t hide the fact that he’s not really here with me, not with his heart.
He grips my ass and plunges deeper, faster, and harder — like he just came to the same realization.
His movements almost become mechanical, impaling me with a determination that is going to hurt like hell later, that is, if I can even walk. He finally roars out his own orgasm and collapses on the bed next to me, facing the window. No words are spoken. I lie next to him, confused, exposed, and pretty much devastated. I’ve given him everything, and he doesn’t even have the decency to look me in the eye?