“Yeah, but…” My eyes drop to my sister, who is now feeding ice cream to her stuffed bunny rabbit, Mr. Pickles. “I think a seat might have just opened up.”
“I’m not interested, thank you.” She hoists her bag over her shoulder and twists in the direction of the escalator to leave, but not before bending down and whispering sweet nothings to me. “If you had the only available seat in the world and not taking it meant I’d suffer a lifetime of pain while standing in the most uncomfortable heels imaginable, my answer would still be the same.”
“There are three other chairs, Shaye.” Lily wipes her mouth with her hand and points to the plastic chairs surrounding us. “You can sit in any of them.”
Shaye’s smile looks dangerously close to cracking, and the only reason she hasn’t unleashed a string of expletives is because Lily is here.
“Hey, Lil.” I reach into my pocket for some tokens I’d gotten earlier. “Why don’t you play one of the games in the arcade over there for a few minutes?” The arcade is only a few feet away from the mall food court, so she’ll be close enough and that’ll allow me and Shaye to talk.
Lily leaps to her feet, her hand outstretched. “Thanks, Nico! I’m going to win a chickie. Mr. Pickles needs a new friend!”
She darts over to the video games, leaving us alone. It’s exactly what I wanted, it’s mostly what I feared. Being alone with Shaye, free to talk this out. But there are things that need to be said, and I’ve waited too damn long to say them.
“Shaye,” I murmur. “Why didn’t you tell me? I had no idea.”
A deep pink stains her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. You’re an asshole, and letting myself get caught up in that whole…” She clenches her fists and sharply inhales. “It was my poor judgement. I should have known to stay away. But I never learn. I never fucking learn.” She twists away from me for the third time, and I reach for her. My fingers grip her wrist, and I hold on with everything I have.
“Please don’t go.”
Still, she keeps her back toward me. “You never called. You never emailed. You didn’t acknowledge me at all after that night. I left feeling like I’d lost my best friend. I had no idea why. And you just went on with your life, fucking every girl in your path.” She inches closer, a murderous glare in her blue eyes. “Yeah, I know all about it. And every time someone mentioned your latest conquest, it felt like a butcher was slicing away at my insides.” She looks down at her wrist but doesn’t make an attempt to escape my grasp. “It’s so ironic that you’re holding on to me so tight now. Why? You had me before, and all you ever did was push me away. And I was stupid enough to think that you could really care about me, that it wasn’t all bullshit. But it was. I gave you everything, and you just took it without a second thought. Like you were entitled to it, like you deserved it. But you don’t. You never did. And rest assured, you’ll never get it again.”
It was stupid to allow myself to fall for her. I knew it could never work. You don’t mess around with your best friend’s sister. It’s part of the guy code. But I fell anyway. Hard. And I deserve everything that comes with it. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Shame on me for giving you that power,” she spats, flicking her wrist out of my grip. “I think we’re done here.”
“Please, Shaye. I need to make this right. Don’t go. Just…don’t…leave…” My eyes drift behind her, through the throngs of little kids jumping on the trampoline, racing in all directions, zigzagging through the play gym, winding around the carousel.
But none of them was Lily.
My chest tightens, and I clutch the side of the table, my fingertips losing all circulation. Fuck, where is she? I run toward the kiddie area, my heart bobbing in my throat. “Lily!” I shout.
“Lil!” Shaye is beside me, her eyes darting in all directions. She laces her fingers with mine and drags me into the center of kiddie chaos. “Come on, let’s go!”
We cover the entire perimeter, but she’s nowhere to be found. I took my eyes off of her for a minute, and now she’s gone. I rake a hand through my hair.” “Shit,” I mutter. “I can’t believe I let her go in there by herself. Shaye, if something happens to her—”
“Stop,” she says. “I’m going to find security. You stay here and keep looking, okay?” She squeezes my shoulder. “We’re going to find her, Nico. Just stay calm.” She runs over to the security booth and I head back inside the arcade, asking every kid I can corner if they’ve seen Lily. I don’t get very far with that brilliant plan, since all of the moms are pulling their kids away from the crazy man staking out the kiddie room.
Shaye comes running back to me with a security guard in tow. He’s on his walkie-talkie giving Lily’s description to whomever is on the other end of his radio.
“Has anyone seen her?”
Shaye shakes her head. “Not yet. Come on, let’s look for her in the food court. Maybe she got lost trying to find you.” She nibbles her fingernail and looks around. “Why did this have to happen at lunchtime? It’s so crowded.”
We dart back over to the food court, weaving our way through the crowds of people in line for pizza, pasta, salad, Chinese noodles, and every other type of fast food imaginable. My stomach drops further and further with each inch of space covered. She’s gone. My baby sister is gone because I’m a fucking asshole who took his eyes off of her to apologize for his shitty behavior. What the hell am I going to do? Who am I going to call? How ironic that the one who has an answer for everything has no fucking clue what to do next.
I stop in the middle of the seating area, my temples throbbing. “Shaye, I don’t…where do I…” I let out a deep sigh, struggling to hold my shit together. “I can’t—”
“Lilibelle!” Shaye screeches, tearing past me and through the maze of chairs toward the Cinnabon counter. “Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you!” She throws her arms around Lily, clutching her tight.
My legs feel like wet noodles, and I almost collapse on top of Lily. Until my eyes meet his.
“Rocco,” I growl. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You almost gave me a fucking stroke.”
“Relax, man. I saw Lily and asked if you were around. She said you were talking, so I took her for a snack to kill time.” Rocco’s eyes flicker in Shaye’s direction. “If I’d known who you were talking to, I would have come straight over to interrupt.”
Shaye rolls her eyes and rises to her feet. “Seriously, Rocco? I have security combing the place looking for Lily.”
“Maybe next time you’ll pay a little more attention to how bad things can get when you lose sight of what’s important, Nico.” Rocco flashes a smirk. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man. Shaye, I’d love to see you tonight.”