“Thank you for trying to sort it out,” I say, not looking away.
His expression changes. A tiny smile starts at the corners of his lips. His hooked forefinger reaches under my chin and taps it just lightly. “Sure thing, petal.”
His gaze is soft, and we stare at each other for a moment that is turning too awkward when he turns to walk away.
I catch him by the hand and let go right away.
He doesn’t like to be touched.
I know, I know.
“About last night,” I say, and summon all my courage to keep my eyes on him as his search mine, willing me to go on. “I really liked last night,” I say, though my heart doesn’t like the anxiety that is rising in me and rebels against my chest. “I…” God, what else am I supposed to say? “I really liked it, yeah.” I finally lower my gaze down to my feet, because I feel color rising on my face. “See you, yeah?”
Without looking, I turn around and walk toward my bungalow.
I really need to blow off steam.
I need a shower.
And I need to stop being so nervous around Kai.
34
KAI
I am so stirredup when I reach my bungalow that I think of jerking off.
Fuck, petal.
I was lost for words. Dumb. Quiet. Instead of telling her how I felt.
Let’s fuck, petal! Because tomorrow might never come. Because Crone might shoot us all. So, let’s take everything we can from each other. And go swimming. And kiss in the waterfall. And laugh. And sit by the bonfire because you like it though I hate it so much.
Of course, I didn’t say it.
I tear the sweaty shirt off me and toss it onto the chair, then kick off the boots and change into shorts.
I need a shower.
I need to jerk off.
I need food.
And a joint.
And most importantly, her.
I can’t unsee Callie’s body. Not when she was wasted after the Block Party and I tried to undress her, catching a glimpse of her bare breasts. Not this morning when I woke up to her in my arms, the shirt I gave her hitched up to her waist, her naked butt up in the air.
God fucking help me! I don’t know how I didn’t jerk off standing by the bedside, staring at her bare butt for what seemed like an eternity, wondering if I can come just by studying her perfect behind. Because my cock was rock hard. It screamed for release.
And I am hard again at the thought of it.
I grab a towel and walk out, then make my way across the sandy patch between the bungalows to the back that is shaded by the palm trees and nestle the outside shower stall.
And I slow down.
I see Callie go into the shower, and the fact stops me in my tracks. I’ve been torturing myself for too many nights, jerking off at midnight to the thoughts of her, and now my body starts responding again.