The music is from before the Change. It breathes with memories and good times. It makes everyone relax, sink into their chairs or onto the sand.
Guff and Santino hang out at the hammocks strung between the palm trees.
The party divides into little camps.
Owen hugs his girl to him and they make out.
It’s as if the war never happened. This could pass off as a college party. Or a camping trip. Burning Man decompression fest.
It almost makes me happy for a moment.
And then Doja Cat comes up on the speaker.
“Oooooh, snap! Guess who’s crazy about this song?” Ty grins at Kai, who glares back at him like he is about to murder him.
It’sthatsong. My heart lunges in my chest.
Ty snaps his finger at Owen. “Duuuude,” they say in sync in a goofy stoned kinda way. “Put on that Doja tune,” they both mimic in theatrically dumb voices and break out in laughter.
I sit frozen on the spot. This ismysong.
“Maaaan.” Owen chuckles and looks at me, then Katura. “Every time Kai is drunk or high, it’s this song. On repeat.”
“Shut it,” Kai snarls from his seat.
I swallow hard, my heart thudding I my chest. It’smysong.
“Seriously,” Ty carries on. “It’s Kai’s obsession.”
“Shut the fuck up. Dude!” Kai snaps and shakes his head, turning away to face the dark ocean.
Everyone goes quiet.
“Sensitive, aren’t we?” Ty murmurs. He is already quite drunk. “It’s just a song, dude.”
But it’s not. It’s the last song I ever danced to. On that stupid podium. At the Block Party. Forhim, though he doesn’t know it.
I stare at Kai, but he won’t look at me.
The memories fall through me like a waterfall. Suddenly, it’s hard to breathe. I take a gulp of the beer, trying to drown the awkwardness.
Bo starts another conversation. He is the mediator. And in a minute, everyone is talking, and Ty is joking around, and Zach throws his flip flop at Maddy, who tosses it back at him.
But the song is so familiar yet full of so many memories that I want it to stop. I want to rip the speaker off that table and toss it in the ocean.
I sit, transfixed. I must be tipsy, because the conversations fade in and out.
Rebelution comes on.
Again, I raise my eyes to Kai across the bonfire, and he is staring at me.
I don’t look away, ready for his hate and am willing to give mine to him.
But there is no hate.
The flames of the bonfire flicker in the air between us. A current passes between us. It’s strong. We don’t look away like it’s a duel. The flickers of the fire dance in Kai’s eyes, leap off his tattoos, and pierce me straight to the heart that dances like mad.
He is like a God or a Devil, I am not sure which one. That night after the Block Party, that devilish gorgeous body was taking mine. And I don’t freaking remember.