“No.” I shake my head in denial.
Can’t be.
“Awe.” Archer cocks his head to feign pity, tosses the cigarette away, and steps into me. He stretches his hand and strokes my cheek.
I jerk away. I want to cut his freaking hand off.
He only smiles. And I almost see a forked-tongue like that of a snake dart out of his mouth when he licks his lips.
“You didn’t know. Precious,” he purrs. “The day after the party, we had a giant bonfire.” Archer’s lips curl into a smirk as his smile fades. “After the fucking news that spread across the campus. The fucking idiots making memes of me. And your boy had the audacity to show up there to sort it out. The fucking nerve."
Archer's face is like a skull in the dim light of the flashlights. It’s so close to me that I feel like he is going to swallow me. And I want to stab him in the eye.
"Yeah," he snarls. "We exchanged punches. I wanted to bury the fucker. But then heaccidentally"—Archer chuckles as he accentuates the word—"fell into the bonfire."
The ground drops from under my feet, and I am free-falling.
I didn't know.
How could I?
All the rumors I heard afterward never mentioned that bonfire. Even Abby didn't say anything.
Kai…
His face floats across my mind, and I feel tears burn my eyes.
No-no-no.
I am begging Archer or life or whatever else there is to take those words back. To take those years back. That day. That night.
Because the knowledge is slowly ripping me into pieces.
"I'm glad we cleared this up. What a positive start.” Archer smiles, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes as he turns around and motions to his dogs.
One of them pushes me into my back, and we start walking. But I barely register anything around.
Katura pulls away from her escort and ducks her head to look me in the eyes. "Are you all right?"
I am not. I walk past her and keep walking, following the rest.
Nothing else matters—not Archer's promise to do to me whatever he wants, not the Westside, which is the last place I want to be—except for the realization that I've made a horrible mistake. That I could've fixed it all four years ago if I wasn't such a coward and so selfish.
My chest shakes as I try to suppress a sob.
But it's too late.
Tears start sliding down my cheeks. They are invisible in the dark, but they are as scorching as second-degree burns.
Hisburns.
I want to die right now. Fate is a bitch. Heartless. Ruthless. Unforgiving.
Dark emotions envelop me like a fog, making me dizzy as I stumble down the dark path across the hills.
Scars can be devastating. But guilt is all-consuming.
I'm sorry, Kai.