When I didn’t come back to the shop on Monday, I texted Griff and asked if he’d be willing to cover my shift for the rest of the week. He said yes, surprisingly not asking questions which I was grateful for.
I knew I couldn’t stay away the whole week, but I needed a few days. A few days to wallow in my self-pity and to come to terms with the reality of my situation.
I press my lips together. I can’t go there right now.
So what if I’m not meant for love.
So what if I need to continue on with my life the way it is.
I’m okay and fine and I’m enough for me.
Clearly I could use a few more days – oryears– away from people. But Elouise and Beckett are coming home from their honeymoon – I glance at the clock – twenty minutes ago. I know if I asked, Elouise would let me stay with them, but I don’t want to bring down the newlyweds with my bad energy.
My eyes trail to the clock again.
It’s still early, barely 10:00, but I’m already dreading the lunch hour. Because what if…
I shake my head at myself.
Axel won’t come in.
I had several missed calls from him on that first day. And he left me one voicemail. Just one. One that I’ve tried to delete a dozen times. A hundred. But I can’t.
Instead I listen to it every night. Clinging to the sound of his voice like some sort of twisted security blanket. Even now I can feel the words…
“Maddison, you promised you’d never make me worry again. But now here we are, me sitting on your front steps, and you in the wind. There’s gonna be consequences for this, Baby.”
That’s all he said. And he hasn’t called back since. No texts. Nothing.
And I don’t know if that means he’s done with me completely, or if the second shoe is yet to drop.
“So…” Griff starts, “You’re uh,absencehasn’t had anything to do with the big angry man that’s come in here every day looking for you? Has it?”
I slowly turn my head to look at him.
Every day?
“What big angry man?” my voice trembles as I ask.
Griff lifts his hand to point out the window, “Thatbig angry man.”
Without turning to look, I drop to the floor with a squeak.
“Oh my god, is it him?!” I hiss.
“It’s him,” Leslie walks up, a big grin on her face.
She reaches for me, but I swat her hands away. “Stop it! What’re you doing?”
Leslie huffs, putting her hands on her hips. “I’m attempting to save you from yourself.”
“What are you talking about?” I’m whispering now as I scoot over to the Freak Out Mat. A thick piece of floor mat that’s been here for years, perfect for sudden mental breakdowns.
“Did you really think you could just avoid him forever?” The way Leslie says it makes it sound ridiculous. But yes. Yes, I thought I could avoid him forever.
The rainstick goes off again, and I pull my knees up.
I didn’t return his calls because I didn’t want to deal with that sort of confrontation, even on the phone.