You can’t let go.
A few more steps.
Not yet.
Half-way there.
Please, not yet.
I plead with myself.
Beg my eyes to listen.
But it doesn’t work. The tears are here. The constant stream of them blurring my vision.
Almost there.
Just a few more steps.
Except I don’t havemycar keys. And I can’t take Axel’s car. I can’t take anything from him. Not anymore.
The need to start bawling is right there, right under my skin. But if I start now, I’ll never get out of here. And I have to get out of here.
I stop, standing at the bumper of my vehicle, alone, crying, clutching a bag of sandwiches and a set of keys that aren’t mine.
I brush my knuckles over my cheeks, trying to push the sadness off my face.
Blinking, I see one of the guys in the next stall over.
“Rod-” my voice cracks and I try again, “Rodrigo?” I say his name as loud as I dare.
His head turns and I catch sight of a small smile before it’s quickly wiped off his face.
Eyes wide, he strides towards me. His mouth opens twice but no words come out.
“Can I have my keys?” I whisper, knowing it’s the only way I’ll be able to get a full sentence out.
He’s nodding as he turns away and grabs my keys off a board.
Rodrigo holds them out, but we seem to realize at the same time that my hands are already full.
I sniff and we do an awkward exchange. And when I hand him the bag of food, he takes it without question.
I try to thank him, but I end up mouthing the words.
My lip is quivering, and I feel more tears fall from my eyes.
Rodrigo stares at me with a horrified expression, and it’s not until I start to step past him that he speaks. “Are you okay?”
It’s a dumb question. And the look on his face says that he knows it too. But it’s nice of him to ask.
Only I can’t think of a single word to say, so I just lift my shoulders before letting them fall.
I’m not okay.
I’m not fine.
More tears fall from my eyes.