Lise couldn’t stop the tide of pain as it overwhelmed her, threatening to rend her in two. She buried her face in her hands, trying to calm herself. To choke back the sob threatening to break free.
She didn’t hear Rafe’s steps across the floor. His strong arms wrapped round her again, bringing her to his chest. Holding her so she wouldn’t break apart. She buried her face in the hard muscle. Forcing down the tears that she’d never allow to fall in front of him. Trapping the sadness with shuddering breaths. Because Lauritania relied on her to pull the country from its grief. She didn’t have time for her own. Still, her hands gripped his shirt to give her something, anything, to hold onto.
‘Lise.’ His voice was a soft murmur. She didn’t deserve this solace. The pain was something she should feel, but she couldn’t move away, couldn’t let him go. If she did, she might drown in it all. Sink beneath the waves of grief and never surface again. Rafe held her till her choked breaths eased and the threat of tears receded. She rested her head against his chest. Lulled by the steady thump of his heartbeat as he stroked her hair, saying nothing, merely holding her together. It was too easy to stand there in the safety of his arms, letting the warmth of him seep into her frozen places. To soak him in.
To hope for things that weren’t for her.
She pushed away from his chest and his hold eased. His expression one of concern before she moved away and scrubbed at her eyes, rubbing at the few tears that had managed to escape.
‘I’m fine. Really.’ She turned to the view from the glass doors leading to the balcony. At a winding road, the spire of a little church, nestled in the rolling green foothills of the Alps. Looking at anything to avoid looking at him.
She felt Rafe’s warmth behind her. His hands, rested on her shoulders. A gentle rub of his thumbs on her neck. Goosebumps shivered across her back and down her arms at his comforting touch. ‘It’s okay not to be. You’ve been through an ordeal. Take some time to grieve, whilst there’s no one here to watch you.’
Yet unbeknownst to him, her losses were self-inflicted. Own goals. She shrugged him away. She had no right to his sympathy or the temptation of his touch, which made her want to fall into him and never get up again.
‘I don’t have the luxury of time.’
‘You’ve a country to run. And you’re exhausting yourself. There’s no thanks in that.’
Rafe walked in front of her, cupped her face in his hands. ‘Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It takes strength to know when you can’t do it on your own.’
She wanted help. She wanted someone to rely on, something she’d never really had before. To allow her to feel more like herself. Not the broken woman. Not the Queen. Just Lise.
I’ll give you anything you want...
He was asking for that person to be him and part of her, the dark secret heart of her, wished it could be. And those were dangerous, tempting thoughts to have.
Because Rafe was the last person she should ever trust.
CHAPTER SIX
LISEHUGGEDHERknees as she sat in the verdant grass staring at the picturesque view over a valley. A little church, a quaint village, all surrounded by majestic Alpine peaks. She’d followed a short and well-worn trail, bringing her to this place with its outlook over the mountains. She’d attempted to call Sara, to check on her friend to see if she was okay, to try and talk too about her own conflicted emotions, but there had been no answer. The phone oddly going to a message bank that claimed to be full.
Lise flopped back and spread her arms wide, staring into the deepening blue sky above her. She should have worn something more suitable than light clothing and a flowing skirt for the walk, as the sun had begun dipping low, the air taking on a crisp early autumn chill. But the thought that she could simply wander away with no plan or agenda had been too tempting. As Queen, she was coming to learn there was always some agenda, always a plan. She shut her eyes, concentrating not on what she had to do but in this single, blissful moment. On the gentle chimes of cow bells in the distance, the tickle of grass under her fingers. The brush of a late afternoon breeze on her cheeks. Simple, honest pleasures that she could allow herself to indulge in.
The sense of some presence, that she was not alone, caused her to open her eyes and turn.
Rafe. Cutting a swathe through the swaying grasses, as he strolled in her direction. Lise’s heart fluttered like the butterflies that had earlier been sampling the remaining wildflowers dotted around her.
‘Hello, Sleeping Beauty. Did I wake you?’ He smiled, and any remaining chill left the afternoon and she bathed in the warmth of him.
‘I wasn’t asleep, and no prince kissed me, so...’
What was she saying? His dark eyes gleamed in the golden light of a dropping sun and the corner of his mouth quirked into a wry grin.
‘That could have been arranged, although you’d have to have settled for a king, rather than Prince Charming.’
‘I’m not sure that’s how the fairy tale goes.’
Lise couldn’t help herself. She glanced at his mouth, the curve of his lower lip that seemed so soft and full, and wondered again what it would be like to kiss him, just once. For real, not only in her overheated fantasies.
‘You’re Queen, you could write your own.’
She shook her head. ‘Life doesn’t work like that.’
‘In the end, life is what you make of it.’ Rafe gestured to the ground next to her. ‘May I join you?’
She nodded, and he sprawled beside her, plucking at the grass and flowers as he stared out over the landscape. Its magnificence paling in his distracting presence.