Did hereallywant to be part of Ellie’s life? She frowned; there were far too many questions and no answers. The only thing she was sure of was that, even though her romantic fantasies about him had been shattered, she was still far from immune to his potent brand of masculinity.
‘Let me help with—’
His deep voice jolted Gwen free of her introspection and back to the moment, and an instinct she didn’t question made her lurch forward. She virtually elbowed her way past him to block his access to the sleeping child, but it wasn’t all win, win... The fleeting collision had made the prickle under her skin even more intense.
How she was going to survive the constant exposure over the next few weeks to this permanent adrenaline overload, she had no idea.
‘No, I can manage.’ Wincing inwardly at the defensive quality in her own voice, she flashed him a quick look through her lashes.
She looked away quickly because he was standing uncomfortably close—was there even such a thing as comfortable when it came to him? From the electric effect he had on her nervous system she wasn’t sure what the safety-zone perimeter was—or even if there was one.
She found her weakness to him disturbing, though not as disturbing as the insidious warmth that was even now spreading through her body at his nearness. Her only defence was to pretend it wasn’t happening and hope her hormones would go back into hibernation some time soon.
The absolute worst, most shameful part was that she was pretty sure he knew exactly what his physical proximity did to her—she just hoped that he was so used to women going weak at the knees when he was around that he barely noticed any more.
She lifted her lashes to flash him another look through the dark mesh and found her eyes connecting with his. Her eyes grew wide for a moment before she dragged them away—no, those intent eyes of his noticed absolutely everything, she decided. It was the thoughts that might be going on behind their deep, dark surface that raised the question mark because, although she had the distinct impression he could read her like a book, she struggled to see past his mask.
‘There’s a knack to this,’ she husked out as she bent to the task of unfastening the sleeping child’s restraint, biting her lip as her trembling-fingered clumsiness contradicted her claim. Pushing her hair back impatiently—she had lost the velvet ribbon that had secured it at her nape at some point in the journey—she gritted her teeth, told herself to man up and completed the operation without waking Ellie.
‘So you already said about the car seat,’ he replied in the tone of a man who was not amused. ‘But I’d like the chance to learn.’
‘If she kicks off you’ll be glad you’re not carrying her. She can be pretty cranky when she’s tired.’
The attempt at conciliation slid off Rio like sea water off a seal and his jaw clenched. He wasn’t keeping count—actually, that wasn’t true; he was. He remembered each and every time she’d rebuffed any attempt he made to help with Ellie. Once he might have put it down to Gwen’s bloody-minded independence but that wasn’t what this was about. When he went anywhere near the child she went straight into guard-dog mode.
‘I’m fine with you not trusting me.’
Except you’re not, are you, Rio?
Recognition of the fact flickered in his eyes before he half lowered his heavy lids and went on to incise with heavy irony, ‘But I think even I’ve already grasped the basic concept that dropping a child is not a good idea.’Hischild that she would have kept from him her whole life so they’d have ended up as complete strangers to one another... Through sheer force of will he stopped feeding his anger, drawing a veil across the relentless stream of pointlesscould havescenarios, and instead heaved out a sigh and all the anger with it.
He could carry on being angry with Gwen but it wasn’t going to move them on from this point if he wanted this child in his life. He had let the resentment go, even though at the moment that remained a goal rather than reality.
‘It’s got nothing to do with trust. Why do you have to make everything so personal?’ she asked.
His ebony brows hit his equally dark hairline and his eyes slid to the face of the sleeping child before returning to Gwen’s. ‘She’s my child—does it get more personal than that?’
Gwen hated the flush that she felt climb to her cheeks and hated him for making her feel guilty. ‘Just how long are you going to punish me for? I only ask because children tend to pick up on tense atmospheres and—’
‘So you want me to pretend that everything is sweetness and light between us?’
Her eyes flew wide in rejection as she ejaculated in utter revulsion, ‘Oh, God, no!’
Her parents’ life had been and presumably still was one long pretence, her mother pretending to believe her serial adulterer husband every single time he promised his latest fling was over and he’d never stray again. Her father pretending he had every intention of forsaking all others for his wife.
The only thing that seemed to unite her parents was a determination to maintain appearances, appear happy, pretending to be the perfect loving couple in front of their friends and neighbours.
Belatedly aware of Rio’s speculative stare, she lowered her gaze and took a deep restorative breath. ‘I intend to be honest with my daughter.’
‘So what honest answer were you going to give her when she asked you who her father was?’
She glared at him in defiance.
‘Or hadn’t you thought that far ahead?’
The fight drained away, leaving her feeling weak and vulnerable and unable to think of any retort that sounded smarter than the truth.
‘Sometimes I rarely think beyond the end of a day.’