Surely the only thing that had changed was that in eighteen months’ time they would part as friends...if ex-lovers could be friends. Or maybe they would even be parents...that circumstance still an unknown, the memory of their first time and his thoughtlessness always there in the background.
He walked into Abby’s room, almost tripping over the suitcase by the door.
For a split second shock closed his brain down—it closed everything down—then, as the paralysis weakened, something close to panic tightened like an icy fist in his belly. Before he identified it as such it shifted into full-blown, mind-numbing fury. She was running away. She was leaving him.
Didn’t everyone?
He was literally shaking as he strode across the room and through the door between the wardrobes that lay open.
Passport in hand, Abby was standing looking adrift, the long, lightweight trench coat she wore open to reveal a plain white silk shirt she had teamed with dark, narrow pedal-pushers.
‘What the hell is going on?’ Had she intended to slip away while he was absent?
* * *
Abby blinked; she was working hard at disguising her misery, at the truth she was sure was written all over her face, and it left little or nothing to register his awesome fury.
‘Sorry, it was a last-minute decision.’ She managed a smile...held it for a few seconds before it faded, too bright and too brittle. Hell, she really needed some time to sort herself out—if she stayed now she’d do something irreversibly stupid like blurt out the truth. ‘I would have rung but I didn’t want to disturb your meeting...how did it go?’
‘To hell with my meeting!’ he growled.
‘Sorry,’ she said automatically, assuming from his attitude that it had gone badly. A knot of protective anger tightened in her chest; he worked so damned hard and for what seemed to her very little thanks. Sometimes she wished she could bang together the heads of those men making his life tough. ‘It’s just I’ve been putting off going to see Nana and Pops but I need to; I only told them half the story and they deserve more, plus the solicitor says the vendors are finally ready to exchange contracts, and I’d like to give them the keys in person.’
‘You’re coming back...’ The wildness died from his eyes as they swept her face, and his body began to unclench as the explosive tension lowered. For the first time he noticed her pallor, the red rims around her beautiful eyes...the protective swell in his chest so intense it was a struggle to breathe past.
‘Well, not tonight...unless you need me to?’
‘I’m fine,’ he said with a shrug that made it clear he didn’t need anyone.
‘The plane is on standby; I hope you don’t mind,’ she said, not quite meeting his eyes.
He frowned and she worried he could see through her lies.
‘Of course not. You’ll ring me when you land...?’
She nodded. ‘Of course.’
‘Come here...’
She went to him and sighed as he drew her body against his, smoothing her hair back. With one hand he cupped her chin and drew her mouth up to his... The tenderness meshing with the passion brought an emotional lump to her throat.
Afraid she was going burst into tears, she pulled away, sure that if she lost control she might start blurting out things she shouldn’t. She allowed herself to say ‘I love you’ silently in her head but kept her mouth closed.
Zain didn’t want her love and he certainly wouldn’t have wanted their baby. But she had, she really had. Until this morning, she hadn’t known just how much that hope had flickered inside her.
Hand on the door handle, she turned back. ‘Oh, and I’m not pregnant, by the way, so you can relax.’ She managed what she hoped was an unaffected laugh before she almost threw herself through the door because this time no amount of determination could stop the tears.
* * *
A few days later as Abby returned to Aarifa the sadness was not gone but it was contained. Although she had told herself otherwise, she knew that she had allowed herself to hope.
It had been a selfish thing, wanting a child that was a bit of Zain because she couldn’t have him or his love. She recognised that now. A baby should have two parents who loved one another...it didn’t always happen, of course, but in a perfect world it would, and didn’t everyone want their child to be born in a perfect world?
She had to focus on what she had, not what she didn’t have. Her chin lifted as the co-pilot came out to ask her if she’d had a good flight and then continued to make small talk while she only half listened. She would make some lovely memories over the next few months, memories to treasure when she returned to her old life, not that it would ever be the same, she realised, because she wasn’t the same.
It was weird stepping off the plane and walking into the wall of heat that not long ago had felt so alien but now felt like home.
Bubbles of excitement exploded like star bursts in her stomach as she shifted in her seat, leaning forward to stare out of the window as first the city gates came into view and then the palace.