She sat up then, dragging the sheet up to her chin, and looked down at him. ‘My leg?’
He nodded.
‘Only when I laugh... No, seriously, not really, it’s kind of numb because the nerve endings were pretty damaged.’
He was pretty sure that her matter-of-fact delivery covered a world of hurt and pain.
‘The skin can get tight sometimes.’ She reached out and took a bottle from the bedside table. ‘If it does, I usually massage this stuff into it.’
‘Were you in hospital for a long time?’ The image of her lying alone in a hospital bed enduring such pain produced a fresh surge of protectiveness in him.
‘Longer than expected, because the grafts didn’t take. There was an infection so they had to start all over again. That’s why I’m not going back.’
He stiffened. ‘They want you to?’
She nodded. ‘They have offered me another op, but that’s what they said last time...’
‘Shouldn’t you listen to expert advice?’
‘The surgeon says he might be able to improve the appearance, but there are no guarantees, and I’ve had enough of being poked and prodded.’
The way she said it, the defiance in her tone, made his throat ache with emotion, and his arms tightened around her narrow ribs as he rocked her against him.
‘But wouldn’t it be worth it if they could improve it?’ he said against her neck.
She pulled away, her expression wary. ‘I still wouldn’t be perfect, and it’s not about other people, it’s about me. I have to be able to look in the mirror and know I’m still me...’ she pressed a hand to her breasts ‘...inside.’
He watched the tears slide down her cheeks and felt as if someone had reached a hand into his chest and pulled out his heart. ‘Don’t cry, agape mou.’ He smoothed down her hair with a hand and pulled her back into his arms.
* * *
Nik felt regret when he saw the warm rays of sunlight filtering through the blinds, certain to wake Chloe up. The irony of his dismay was not lost on Nik, as for a long time he hadn’t been able to wait until he could get out of bed.
But morning was already well established now, which meant that he’d have to let her go and lose the incredible sense of peace and rightness he’d felt holding her, a peace that had been better than the sleep his body craved, sleep that he had denied himself out of fear that in the grip of a nightmare he might hurt her. It was a fear with foundation, as there were reported incidents of men suffering from PTSD acting out their nightmares and injuring their partners in their sleep.
If he hurt Chloe, even unconsciously, he knew it would kill him.
The time had come to get up, but on the plus side the bright sunlight made it possible for him to study the face on the pillow beside him. Half obscured by the tangle of silky blonde hair, she lay with one arm across his chest and the other tucked under her head like a pillow. He could make out the fact that her eyelashes fanned out lush and curving against her smooth cheek.
If anyone had told him before yesterday that he would say a woman’s name just because he wanted, no, needed to hear it he would have laughed them out of the building and yet...
‘Chloe.’
It was barely a whisper but she must have sensed it because she stirred, whimpering a little and shifting restlessly, then, eyes still closed, she shouted, ‘No!’ She opened her eyes suddenly, and blinked as the haziness vanished. ‘I was dreaming...’ she whispered sleepily.
‘It sounded like a nightmare.’
‘I forgot about my leg and had put on shorts, which is silly because I never forget...’ she murmured sleepily. ‘People were laughing and pointing at my scars...’
Nik flinched inside. ‘I won’t let anyone laugh,’ he promised fiercely.
Chloe smiled happily as he turned onto his side and pulled her to him, running a hand in long soothing strokes down her back again and again until her breathing evened out once more.
It was a long time since he had spent more than an hour or so in bed with a woman, partly because he didn’t want anyone to witness his nightmares. It was ironic, really, that the nightmares this time had been Chloe’s.
You don’t have exclusive rights on nightmares, Nik.
The memory of her pathetic whimpers cut right to his heart, and he kissed her forehead gently, pleased that her breathing was now soft and easy.