“Sure,” Hunter said. “Right after the fight with Derek.”
“But it wasn’trightafter the fight,” I said carefully. “It was late at night.”
Hunter shrugged. “Sure, I guess. Why?”
“The fight happened,” I said, like a lawyer building a timeline. “Then you came into my room to check on me. We went into the bathroom so you could clean up the cut on my arm. You told me I deserved a do-over for my first kiss. Then we shared a moment. I was sure you were going to give me arealfirst kiss there in the bathroom. You looked like you wanted to. But then you changed your mind and told me you didn’t have feelings for me. Andright after that, you called Katie and invited her to the cookout.”
Hunter flexed his arm out, testing the gauze. “That was five years ago. I don’t really remember.”
How can he not remember? Has he not thought about it for the last five years, the way I have?
“Plus, I was drunk from the party,” Hunter added. “I drank all your beers during beer pong. I rememberthat.” He punctuated it with a disarming smile.
He might have been drunk during the fight, but he wasn’t in the aftermath. I remembered how lucid and clear-eyed he was in the bathroom that night. The events had sobered him up.
Why wouldn’t he give me a straight answer? Anger grew in my chest like a fireball, searching for a way out.
“What about what you said in the garage?” I demanded.
He blinked with surprise at my heated tone. “What do you mean?”
“You stood right here.” I pointed at the ground in front of the beer fridge. “We kissed. It was areallygood kiss. Then you broke it off and insisted you didn’t have feelings for me.” I took a shuddering breath. “You claimed you just wanted tofuck me, nothing more. Are you going to pretend you don’t remember that, too?”
His eyes glazed over. “I remember.”
“Do you remember whatelseyou said?” I asked, not bothering to hide my frustration now. “You insisted I was just a high schooler, and you had no reason to date me when you could be with arealwoman.”
His eyes searched around for something to look at—the car, the roll of gauze on the workbench, his shoes. Anywhere but at my face. “Yes.”
“I cried and cried when you told me that. It took me a long time to even compose myself enough to return to the cookout. Did you mean it?”
Hunter hesitated, like he was caught in a trap and didn’t know a way out. His gaze met mine, and then he shook his head. “No.”
“Then why,” I demanded, “would yousaysomething like that?”
He sighed a massive sigh, his entire body deflating. Then he sat up straight, like he was resigned to finally telling me the truth.
“I lied,” he said, “because you were off-limits.”
I scoffed. “Off-limits? Seriously? Like my brother’s candy stash?”
“Do you want to be mad at me, or do you want to hear my answer?”
I pursed my lips. “Both. But start with your answer.”
He nodded. “Brad and I were best friends. To do anything with you, his sister, would violate that friendship.” He held up a hand to deflect the angry retort I was about to give. “That friendship was important to me, especially at that point in my life. He was there for me when my parents died. I leaned on our friendship a lot in those months.
“And then there were your parents,” he said. “I didn’t have any other family in town, or even in thistime zone, but Mr. and Mrs. P took me in without hesitation. They invited me into their home,thishome, and made me feel loved. It couldn’t replace what my parents gave me, but fuck, it was enough to keep me from drowning in sorrow. That meant theworldto me back then, Erica. I don’t know how I would have survived without their support.”
He shook his head slowly. “How could I accept that from them, and then repay them by making a move on their daughter? How could I do that to Brad? I liked you, Erica. Fuck, I was practicallyfallingfor you! But being with you would have meant betraying the only support I had in the world. If I did that, I wouldn’t have anyone left. I would have been totally alone after the death of my parents.”
I stood very still while listening to him pour his heart out. Back then, in high school, I didn’t understand what he was going through. How could I? But now that my own parents were gone, everything he said rang true. The grief and confusion, not knowing what to do or who to turn to.
In a flash of clarity, I understoodcompletely.
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this back then?” I asked in a trembling voice.
He smiled sadly. “I tried to tell you the truth after we kissed here in the garage. You said we could keep it a secret. Nobody would have to know. You have no idea how tempting it was, Erica. I wanted youbadly. If you had kept talking, I knew I would have given in. So I said whatever I needed to say in the moment to end it. Even if it meant hurting you.”