Once the door shut, I turned back to Braxton. He lifted his brows and gave me a questioning look.
“What?” I asked with a soft laugh.
“Have you talked to Sutton yet?”
My smile faded. “I wish I never told you what happened.”
He scoffed. “It wasn’t hard to piece together, Brody. You and my sister disappeared off that beach, and you both came back looking like something happened between you. And then she locked herself in her room for days to cry, and you didn’t come home for your whole allotted leave. I knew she wasn’t crying over Jackass.”
I sighed and pushed my hand through my hair. “We’re friends, Brax. Things are good between us now. I’m not sure bringing up the past is a good idea.”
“So you’re going to ignore the fact that you’re in love with my sister, and she loves you too?”
“She loved…past tense. She married Jack.”
He scowled. “Because you broke her heart. Told her you didn’t love her. I still want to beat your ass for that.”
“Trust me, I’ve paid for it time and time again.”
Brax lifted his beer to his mouth and took a drink. “Why don’t you tell her how you feel, Brody? I see the way you two look at each other.”
How could I explain it to Braxton when I had no idea how to explain it to myself? I could deny my feelings for Sutton all I wanted, but I knew deep down that I was still in love with her. She was the only one in my dreams, and in my heart, and had been for years.
“Dude, tell her you ran because you were scared.”
I looked up at Brax. “What?”
“You don’t think I know how you felt, Brody?”
My brows drew down in confusion. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience. Who?”
He looked away as he said, “It doesn’t matter.”
I stared at my best friend for a good minute before he spoke again.
“It’s like you’re silently fighting each other,” Braxton said when he focused back on me. “She’s free, Brody. You’re here now. Why keep denying your feelings?”
Shaking my head, I exhaled. “You didn’t see her face, Brax, when I told her I didn’t love her. I…I took something special from her, and then I freaked. I purposely hurt her to push her away. It’s unforgiveable.”
“I think that’s for her to decide. Just tell her everything, dude. She’s either going to forgive you or she’s not. Either way, you’ll still be friends.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared down at the bottle of beer in my hand. “Will we? Because I pushed her away, she ended up marrying that asshole. He treated her like shit, Brax. He put her through hell, and it was my fault, because I was too scared to admit my feelings for her.”
“You still are.”
Standing, I walked into the living room. Brax followed. “What if…” My voice trailed off as I sat down on the sofa, put my beer on the coffee table, and scrubbed my hands down my face.
Brax looked at me thoughtfully. “When I was about to tell my father I wasn’t interested in taking over the restaurant, I almost changed my mind.”
“What do you mean?”
“I almost told him I’d do it. I was afraid to admit that taking over for him and Mom wasn’t part of my life plan. I was afraid to tell him that I’d saved up enough money to buy my first fishing charter boat. I told my mom first. She was understanding. Then I asked how she thought Dad would take it. She said he’d be hurt, but he’d understand. So, I asked her if Dad would be angry with me for not following in his footsteps. And what if I was making a mistake. She laughed and said that if she ever heard me utter ‘what if’ like that again, she’d slap me.”
I laughed.
He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, caught up in the memory for a moment. “What if is a cop-out, Brody. You can ‘what if’ all you like, and it’s not going to change anything. What if she doesn’t love you? What if she never stopped loving you? What if she hadn’t married Jack? What if you’d met someone else and fallen in love? Fuck the ‘what ifs.’ Follow your heart.”
“Are you following yours?”
Closing his eyes, he drew in a slow breath and then let it out just as slowly. “I fucked up, and my chances are long gone. I don’t want to see that happen to you, especially because I know she still loves you.”
Finishing off my beer, I set it on the table once more. “We better get to work on those shutters before it gets too dark.”
Braxton shook his head, finished off his own beer, and stood. “I’d like to tell you that you’re a stupid asshat, but that would be the pot calling the kettle black.”