“How did you find out?” I asked.
“Oscar was informed since he’s our attorney and we were victims. I also asked Lena.”
My eyes closed.
It was as if my hold on life was tethered to Van, helping him recover and ensuring that he’d get home. Now that we were here, I felt the rope slipping away, my purpose for being here unclear.
Blinking, I realized even though the man holding me was trying to help me, he too needed help. “I’m sorry.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “I’m being ridiculous.”
“You’re not ridiculous. Coming back to our home is a major step for both of us. Do you want to leave?”
Leave.
Go where?
I shook my head. “No. I want to feel safe in our home.”
Van removed his phone from his jean pocket. “Look here.” He hit the app and a diagram of the house came up. There were two spots of light in our suite and two in the kitchen.”
“Michael and Albert?”
Van nodded. “They slipped away to give us privacy. I asked them to stay until I can speak with them.”
“Could they stay…longer?” I shook my head again. “No. I’m being silly.”
“Michael and I discussed that. I wanted to talk to you first. If you don’t mind the company and restrictions on fucking in the living room, they can alternate staying here for the next week or so. Especially while Phillip is still MIA.”
A grin came to my lips at the casualness of Van including living room fucking to our plans. “I think our days and nights of living room anything are on hold for a while.”
Van lifted his eyebrows as his green orbs glistened. “I threw that fucking cane away. I’m not giving up on fucking.”
“I haven’t given up.”
“Good.” He lifted my left hand and brought my knuckles to his lips. “There’s one more piece of business Oscar asked me about earlier today.”
“What is that?”
“Our wedding.”
“I don’t need a wedding, Van. I want to be your wife. I never want you to be hurt again, but if you are, I want to be the person they call. I can’t run Sherman and Madison, but I’d like to be the one to call Lena or whoever you want. And if anything happens to me, I don’t want my parents showing up and whisking me away.”
“First,” his tenor deepened, “you’re not allowed to have anything happen to you ever again. Second, I’ve already spoken to Oscar about my medical power of attorney. You are at the top of the list no matter your last name.”
“I wish Vicki could be here.”
“Call her tomorrow,” he said. “Tell her the schedule is on her.”
“If she fails out of school, it will be my fault.”
“I have more faith in her than that,” Van said.
Resting against the sofa, I exhaled and gazed around, taking in the suite around us. “I’m glad we’re home. I may have demons to deal with, but as long as I’m with you, I will.”
“I can carry you.”
I brought my palm to his cheek. The surface was scratchy with a day’s worth of growth and small lines formed near his emerald green eyes. “I’m trying to be strong for you.”
“Don’t,” he said. “I’m stronger than I was yesterday and the day before. You’re mine, Julia. It isn’t easy for me to admit I need help from anyone. Yet Michael and I already discussed the idea of one of them staying here each night. Never doubt I’ll protect you with my life. Know I’ll stop at nothing, and if that means allowing others to carry part of the load, so be it.”