“Emma.” Rett’s deep tone reverberated through the bedroom as he pivoted, gently gripping my shoulders and turning me toward him. He tenderly placed his palms on each side of my face, cupping my cheeks and capturing me in his grasp while keeping my gaze on his. “I’m staring into the abyss. Your blue eyes have haunted me since you first looked my way last night. Truly, blue is an inadequate descriptor. They’re so much more spectacular than in any photo I’d acquired. No camera can capture the magnificence of their depth. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but your eyes tell a story. Through them, you speak without uttering a word. The shades change and sparkles ignite. As I look into the blue vastness, I see things I’ve never before imagined seeing with anyone. I see a beginning and a future.”
When I began to speak, his finger moved to my lips.
“There’s no limit to what I want your beautiful eyes to see, Emma. Sunrises and sunsets, snowcapped mountains and white sandy beaches, the wonders of this world and of the life we’ll share. I’m a selfish man. I don’t pretend it’s not true. I want to watch as you marvel at all a life with me has in store. I want to be there as you learn and experience the future we can make together. The blindfold will help with that. It will do one other thing, something that I desire. Do you want to make my desires a reality as much as I want to make yours come true?”
I did.
Maybe I did.
I wasn’t sure.
Speech escaped me as I floundered in the metaphoric cloud filled with the rhythm of Rett’s timbre. His words and their meanings were less important than the way they were uttered. It was his cadence and tenor that had me enraptured. Embracing my newfound survival technique meant not thinking too far ahead...forging one step, one word, and one decision at a time.
“Do you?” he asked again as he released my face and placed the soft material in the palm of my hand.
I stared down. I realized that this wasn’t the blindfold from the night before but instead one—similar to Rett’s tie—that matched my dress. When my chin rose, I was met with his expectant expression. “If I wear this, I’ll be dependent upon you.”
Rett nodded. “That’s what I desire, for you to rely on me. I’m not saying you aren’t capable, Emma. I’m saying you are. We both know that. Right this second, I see the conflict in your lovely eyes. There’s a kaleidoscope turning with uncertainty as you wrestle with your own will. This decision isn’t only about the blindfold. It’s about you setting aside what you think you know, what you assume you’ve figured out, and all that you embrace, allowing me to lead you.”
The thump of my pulse increased like drums, creating a rapid beat behind his voice. I didn’t want to overthink this or any decision. It went against the plan I’d formulated.
Yet complying meant giving up my autonomy. I’d always been self-sufficient, but after the loss of my family, independence wasn’t a choice. It was thrust upon me.
I did what I needed to do. I went on living.
My breasts pushed forward as I inhaled. “You’re asking me to be someone I’m not?” I hadn’t meant it as a question, but by the inflection of my voice, it was the way it came out.
Rett shook his head as a grin formed on his lips. “No, never. I’m not asking you to be someone else; I’m encouraging you to be who you were born to be. I’ve already confessed to you that I reign in a life of crime. I want you to take your place beside me, but first, Emma, you must learn to accept that there are things you don’t know, things I do, and times when relying upon me is what will not only keep you safe but also bring you pleasures you never fathomed.”
“Sexual,” I said.
His smile widened. “Yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about.” He lifted my hand, the one holding the blindfold. “Let me put that on you, and then allow me to show you what I mean. This is a small sacrifice of sight for a short time. Do this and be rewarded.” He reached for my other hand and brought my knuckles to his full lips. “You won’t regret this.” Soft kisses peppered my skin.
My survival technique was waning. Closing my eyes, I lowered my chin.
Rett’s thumb and forefinger lifted it until we were again eye to eye. “Talk to me, Emma.”
The last twenty-four hours had been too much for me to fabricate an answer filled with anything less than truth. “I’m afraid to trust you.”
He stood taller. “Because of last night? You have to understand, I won’t allow Kyle to be the one to take your life.”
My head shook. “That’s not what I mean, Rett.” I inhaled. “I’ve found that since my family died, I’m safer—I don’t mean from danger like you’ve spoken about. I mean my...” I almost saidheart.“I’m less likely to be hurt if I don’t give anyone else that much power. If I’m in control, I won’t let myself down. I know I can depend on me. That’s why I don’t want to give up that power.”
“I already have it.”
My gaze went around the room where I’d been held and back to Rett.
Before I could respond, he added, “Taking power, money, status...it’s what I do, Emma. I’m good at it. I’m not good at asking for it. If it helps, we’re both on uncertain ground. I know from experience that there’s no limit to what I can take. My desire is to learn if there’s a limit to what you’re willing to give, to sacrifice. This is me asking for what is already mine.”
“I’m not yours.”
“You are. You’re mine to watch over, to keep safe, and to use however I please.” He looked down at the blindfold and back. “At this moment, I’m not taking; I’m giving you the chance to show me that you trust me with that responsibility.”
I peered once more at the blue material in my hand.
I’d taken the journey up to this suite blindfolded beside a man I had only just met. I could take the return journey with a man I knew a little better. Once again, our gazes met as I brought my shoulders back and lifted my chin. “Don’t leave me or let me fall.”
“Never, Emma. Not when you’re at my side.”