Fitting, since I’ve felt alone my entire life anyway.
Tears prick the backs of my eyes, and I dig the heels of my hands into them, trying to tamp down the emotions surfacing in my stomach. I don’t want to break down here, where reporters fromThe Gazetteare probably mulling the grounds, waiting for me to do something newsworthy.
Or, rather, someone.
I stopped doing that, too, though—I’ve come across my own vagina way too many times while browsing low-budget porn sites, and it was starting to make me feel vile.
Used. Cheap. Just like Daddy always said I was.
It’s not actually been that long since I lost my locket in the graveyard, but I still can’t help the sadness that worms its way inside my chest at the realization that I’ve lost, possibly forever, the only gift anyone ever gave me. And the gifter doesn’t even seem to notice its absence.
Part of me wonders if she’d noticemine, or if the glow of her perfect life would blind her to that, as well.
Laughter filters around the building, a few voices rising above the general din of the crowd, and I kick my ankles together, waiting for someone to come looking for me. At this point, that Benito or Gia, Elia’s right-hand man, haven’t erected a full-on search party is slightly alarming.
A soft sob wracks through my chest, breaking the barrier of emotion within me; it pushes through like a flood obliterating a poorly-made levee, and I welcome the release it brings. Like a torrential downpour following a month-long drought, tears stream down my cheeks, unbidden.
Uninhibited.
I struggle to catch my breath, panic seizing my insides, but I don’t pull myself from the onslaught; it shoots through me, a star falling to the earth, bringing with it the greatest, unexplainable explosion of despair.
So I sit away from the partygoers, folded into myself, and let the tears fall freely. Here, tucked in the dark, where no one can pretend they care about me.
Chapter 4
Kieran
My father crosses his arms over his broad chest, yanking the gold mask from his face and leaning against the side of his silver Aston Martin.
A midlife crisis car if I ever saw one.
“Where ya been, boy?” Scraping a hand through his dark hair, he tosses Melanie a quick, unimpressed glance; she’s got her arm hooked around my neck, her body like jelly against my side as she tries to remain upright.
I stuff my hands into my pockets, wishing she’d let go of me. If he wasn’t standing here, and if I didn’t feel like tying her to my bed tonight, she’d still be sprawled out on the bathroom floor, dress hiked to her hips, bare pussy on full display. “Had to grab this one from the restroom. Didn’t want to leave her behind.”
“Wasn’t she Boyd’s date?”
“Yeah, so?” Cocking my head to one side, I pin him with a pointed look. “We’re used to sharing things.”
Clearing his throat, he pushes off the side of the car and opens the back of the SUV. “You don’t think she’ll puke back there, do you?”
Glancing down at her slumped form, her droopy eyelids and smudged makeup, I can’t be sure. “If she gets sick, just stick her head out the window.”
“Jesus, Kieran. She’s not a goddamn dog.”
“No? She sure licks my dick like one.”
“Fucking hell.” He shoves past me, but I don’t miss the grin fighting against his mouth. “I’m gonna go find your mother. Maybe keep the dick talk to a minimum when she gets here?”
“Sure, Dad, but we can’t hide the fact that I have one from her forever.”
He guffaws, trying to cover it in his sleeve, and stalks off. I wait until he’s disappeared back inside the arts center before I jerk away from Melanie; she stumbles, catching herself on the car door at the last second.
“You’re… being… rude,” she slurs, bracing her arms on the leather back seat.
My gaze travels down over her ass, and thoughts of yanking it up and fucking her in public flash through my mind. But I hesitate, and instead push her up, folding her limbs so she fits in the vehicle. “Sober the fuck up, or the only bed you’ll be sleeping in tonight is one made of dirt.”
“Are… you threatening… me?” She hiccups, pushing hair from her face without looking at me.