I let out a laugh, more like an expulsion of air, a way to relieve some of this pressure. It feels so weird saying it aloud. It sounds so much more ridiculous and impossible when shaped by my voice.
“Yeah,” I say. “She’s the only woman I want, honestly. She’s all I need. I want her forever. I want to have children with her. I can’t think of anybody else. It made me sick the other night, going to that party with Maxine.”
“Damn,” Bryce says. “For once in my life, Logan, I literally don’t know what to say.”
I laugh grimly. “That really is a first.”
“Right?”
We pause, and he says, “Are you sure?”
“More than I’ve ever been about anything else in my entire life. Yes. I’m completely certain. I need her.”
“After a week?” Bryce mutters.
“Don’t ask me to explain it. Thereisno explaining it. I saw her. I wanted her. And now I know I’ll need her for life, for every second of every day. The problem is the charity. The photographs. What if she doesn’t feel the same? What if I tell her the truth, and then she spreads it everywhere?”
“Would she do that?”
“No. I don’t know. I don’t think so. I know one thing, though. I can’t let her go. I can’t forget about her. And….”
“Logan?”
“What are the chances she feels this, Bryce? We’ve met twice.Twice. Jesus Christ. Am I just an old idiot? Is that it? Or maybe it’s too many hits to the head.”
“I’ve never heard you like this before,” he says. “But you’re not old, and your most recent brain scan was two months ago, remember? You needed insurance for that TV show they never ended up making. They gave you a clean bill.”
“Oh yeah,” I mutter. “It’s not like I would’ve accepted that as an explanation anyway. Nothing can explain my obsession with her…except her.”
I sit back, giving Bryce time to process it all. The parking lot is empty, and the center's front door is locked, the keys in my pocket…and when we go in there, my Lucy and me, there will be nobody else.
Just us. Her closeness, her heat, and the scent of her keen young body.
“So, what’s the problem?” Bryce says. “Date her. Go after her. Just be careful not to reveal too much early on.”
“But I don’t want her thinking I’m some fucking playboy,” I snap, unable to contain the fire in my voice. “The thought of her being with anybody else makes me sick. How would it feel for her?”
“That’s assuming….”
“Assuming she felt it too, the moment we met. It assumes she has all the same wants, the same needs. She’s as crazy as me. I know, it’s a lot. Too much. I know your plan is the right one. But it just doesn’t sit right. It’s not fair to her for the whole world to think I’m some….”
“Four hundred and twenty-six thousand,” Bryce cuts in. “From three high net-worth donors, all men can relate to your story. The man who lost his perfect family. Successful and good-looking but haunted. They want to be you, Logan, as much as they pity you. It’s the perfect tactic.”
“I know all this,” I sat tautly.
“I’m trying to make you remember it when you’re with…what’s her name again?”
“Lucy,” I growl. “Her name is Lucy.”
“If you both get serious and decide to become a couple, that’s one thing. But for now…I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, Logan, but you can’t tell her the truth. You’re right; she could tell anybody. You’ve only known her a week. So you need to be careful.”
But she deserves to know.
And yet Bryce is right.
“I’m not saying don’t go after her. It’s about time you went aftersomeone.”
“Truth is, Bryce, I’m a little scared to ask her out.”