“Yes, speaking,” Maxine says, hearing Lucy.
I hang up the phone. My belly is knotted, my nerves pulsing, my world feeling like it’s crashing down.
Melodramatic?
Sure.
But that’s how it feels.
“I’m such an idiot,” I murmur. “Maxine Waterson. The most beautiful actress alive. Everybody agrees on that, don’t they? Or almost everybody. And she’s won an Oscar, and…he’s just so ridiculously out of my league. I’m going to apply for that counseling through the website.”
“Lucy….”
“I’m fine,” I tell her, dropping my phone and grabbing my laptop. “Really. At least I can put an end to this silly crush now.”
But that’s not true, not even close.
I haven’t told Jane how deeply I feel for Logan, even if it makes no sense.
I can’t imagine not wanting Logan for myself.
Or dreaming he’d want me too.
CHAPTERSIX
Logan
“What are you doing?” I say, looking across my kitchen at Maxine.
She’s wearing one of those absurd dresses actors, singers, and the like wear. It’s apparently made of recycled plastic bags, but it looks like she’s half-naked to me. Her hair is expertly styled, and all it makes me think of is Lucy, with her wavy brown strands of it begging me to tuck them behind her ear.
“Why are you holding my phone?”
She huffs and waves a manicured hand as she lets it drop on the island. “It rang. I picked it up. It was a reflex.”
“Fine.”
I grind my teeth, knowing tonight has to go well. It’s the same old shit.
I wish I was with Lucy.
“Who was it?”
Maxine shrugs. “You didn’t have the number saved. It was a woman. She recognized my voice.”
I nod, keeping my reaction on the inside.
Andinside….
Bombs are going off, explosions of want and need and desire. It’s not unthinkable that Lucy would recognize Maxine’s voice since she’s a well-known actress.
Maybe itwasmy woman. I need to call her back.
But when I walk across the kitchen, meaning to take my phone, Maxine giggles and scoops it up.
This is the last time. The words thunder through me.
I’ve thought about ending this part of my life a lot, but I’ve never had the motivation before, never had Lucy.