“I do not know.” Peggy grimaced. “I wish to be courted out of love, not out of guilt that we may have been caught.”
“You always hoped for a marriage of love, did you not?” Annie said with a sort of sad smile, holding onto a little hope for her friend. Peggy sipped her tea and then winced, for she had drunk too quickly and burned her tongue.
“I fear you were right before, Annie. We are not all so lucky to marry for love.”
“You have not said though, if you love him?” Annie asked leadingly, leaning forward, the better to watch her friend. Around them, flower pollen danced in the air in the bright sunlight, making that bumble bee fly between the two of them. They both attempted to bat it away when Peggy’s eyes fell upon it.
“Yes, I do,” Peggy said, though her tone was sad. “Yet it feels a little like this bee. Both thrilling and painful all at the same time.” She grimaced once again. “Perhaps I have been a fool?”
Annie couldn’t answer. She wished she could tell her friend she had not been, yet Annie feared the same about herself.
Have we both been fools?
“Now, it is your turn.” Peggy took another sip of her tea, being careful to blow on it this time. “What has passed between you and Lord Yeatman?”
Annie held her breath before she answered, wondering how to put it into words.
“Sometimes I think it the most wonderful time, but after my mother has heard of it…I am not so sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“How does one know if they are in love, Peggy?” Annie asked, turning to her friend with sudden eagerness in her question. “How can one tell if being in love is worth risking everything for?”
“Good lord, you used to be so practical. When did you become philosophical?”
“Since my mother accused me of putting excitement above my reputation,” Annie said rather miserably and cut up her cake. The first bite tasted dry in her mouth and offered no real enjoyment.
“Well, I wish I could answer both questions, but I cannot. Regardless, I will endeavour to answer one. You asked how does one know if they are in love,” Peggy whispered, leaning toward Annie. “My answer may not please you.”
“I wish to hear it anyway.”
“You know because you know!” Peggy said with eagerness. “They are the person you wish to see constantly, the only opinion you care about, and the one you go to sleep at night thinking of.ThatI believe to be love. As for asking is love worth risking a reputation for? I do not know the answer to that. If I ever figure it out, I will let you know.”
Annie squealed, nearly choking on her mouthful of cake as she saw two gentlemen arrive. She pointed in their direction with her fork, making Peggy fidget in her seat when she saw them.
“I did not know they would be here,” Peggy said in a whisper.
“I am not so surprised,” Annie murmured, looking in Luke’s direction, as Mr Barton walked across the lawn beside them. After all, Luke’s sister was holding the event. It was only natural he was invited.
When Luke looked in Annie’s direction, the two shared a long look. His expression was unreadable to her, but it had to mean something, for he looked away and then returned his expression to her with slightly wider eyes. He seemed to make an excuse to their hosts and then headed off in the direction of the house.
“Something tells me he wishes for you to follow him,” Peggy whispered in Annie’s ear.
“Good lord, if you can see that, how many others can?” Annie asked in panic.
“You are fortunate no one else is paying attention. They are too busy enjoying their tea.” Peggy gestured to the tables around them. “Go, now, before anyone notices you are following him.”
The two exchanged a nervous smile as Annie stood to her feet and headed in the direction of the house. She tried not to think of how she was disobeying her mother’s orders. All she thought of was Luke.
***
Luke couldn’t stop fidgeting. He wrung his hands together as he hovered in the corridor of the house, and he walked back and forth, looking to the door that led to the garden through which he had just walked. He didn’t have to wait long for Annie to make her appearance. The moment she stepped through, he moved forward.
“Luke? Oh!” She gasped as he took her hand. He led her straight into the nearest room, a small study. He knew this room was rarely used by his brother-in-law, who preferred to work in the library. Besides, he would have no need to visit it today when he was entertaining. Once inside, Luke closed the door firmly and released Annie’s hand. She stepped back away from him a little, her eyes wide. “You seem eager.”
“Very,” he said, unable to summon a smile. He rubbed his hands across his face, feeling stressed, before lowering them once again and meeting her gaze with his own. “Last week, the ball…it is fair to say that night was not what either of us would have hoped for.”
“No, it was not.” Annie shook her head and looked away from him, turning her focus down. “My mother, she....”