Annie passed the guests, finding more than one person looking her way. She had to remind herself to keep her chin lifted and, every now and then, glance down demurely, just as her mother had instructed.
I must be proper, at all times.
Peggy released her hand once they reached the far side of the ballroom and took cover in an arched alcove that overlooked a set of windows. Here, they were alone and a few steps away from the main party, meaning their voices were masked completely by the violin music that accompanied the dancers.
“My cousin came to me today with clear instruction,” Peggy said quietly. “It seems I now must join you in your endeavour to find a husband, Annie.”
“You must?” Annie said in surprise.
“Yes. My cousin may be my guardian, but he does not take kindly to having to pay for my board. He has given me this Season to find a husband.” Peggy chewed her lip so much, it turned red. “What a to-do this is! The way he spoke of finding a husband, he made it sound like a game of shuttlecock. Oh yes, it is so simple to find the one man in the world who can make your heart beat faster.”
“Ha! What a romantic notion you have,” Annie said with a giggle, watching as Peggy’s brows lifted.
“What is so wrong with being romantic?”
“Realism, my friend, realism,” Annie kept her voice calm as she spoke. Deep down, Annie might long to know what love could be like. She could acknowledge that the great romantic tales certainly made such an idea sound inviting, but she had not witnessed love with her own eyes.
More than once in her life had she seen couples marry for comfort and position.Thatseemed like the more likely outcome. “My mother has made it plain that I must marry too,” Annie said quietly, “but I do not have any grand ideas when it comes to the notion of love.”
“None at all?” Peggy said, wrinkling her nose.
“No,” Annie lied.
I must tamp down any hope I have.
“What does your mother hope for?” Peggy asked, turning back to look at the other guests.
“Much in the way of position,” Annie said with a sigh as she looped her arms with her friend, joining her in appraising the guests. “Since Father died, she lives on only a small annuity. It is enough to maintain us, but for how long it can maintain the two of us, who knows. We have the house, but that is only for now.” Annie shifted her weight between her feet, finding her discomfort growing.
She had grieved for her father last year when he had passed, as had her mother, but these days Barbara’s worries were strictly for money and propriety. Woe betide what would happen if anyone knew of how much their finances had dwindled! Annie knew that for her mother’s sake, she had to continue with the allusion of wealth.
I must hold onto our reputation, and I must marry soon to protect us both.
“My mother is keen for me to marry well, and within this Season. There is to be a ball at the end of the Season, held by ourselves, as with every year. She has given me an ultimatum to find a husband by that moment,” Annie confessed in a whisper. “She hopes then I will have a comfortable future. She also hopes for me to marry a gentleman of position, of good reputation too, though one whose name is not known so well to be whispered by everyone here.”
“Good lord, she has quite a list for what your future husband should be like! Not to mention a tight deadline in which it can be achieved,” Peggy declared with a laugh. “It seems we are together in this, Annie. Both of us are under instruction to find a husband within a few months. Something tells me my cousin and your mother’s expectations are wild beyond imagination. What else does she hope for in your husband?”
“She not only has a list but could write a full volume on what man she wishes me to marry,” Annie murmured, turning her eyes up to the ceiling above them as if she could look to the heavens themselves and plead to her father for help. “My future husband must be a man of good taste, who can respect art and culture, but he mustn’t have his head in the clouds and must have a good income from his investments too.”
“It sounds more like she wants you to marry a business than a man.”
“Hmm, you could be right,” Annie said, chewing her own lip as she returned her eyes to the room in front of her.
When she was younger, Annie had dreamed of what love could be like. After readingPamelaby Samuel Richardson one day, she had picked Cupid’s flower, the pansy, from the garden, admiring the perfect white and purple colours.
When she was a little older, she had been sent some wedding cake by her cousin. Following through with a tradition she was once told, she had wrapped a piece of it in linen and placed it beneath her pillow, to dream of her future husband. Rather disappointingly, she had dreamt of nothing.
It was not the only occasion that had dispelled Annie’s hope of love. She had seen her mother and father argue often enough when he was alive to make love seem like something that was a mere creation in books. She, too, had seen her cousins marry for arrangement only. Some of them were very happy indeed, but they acknowledged their husbands were their friends, and it was nothing more than that.
“Tell me this then,” Peggy asked, nudging Annie with her elbow. “What do you wish for in a husband?”
“I wish….” Annie thought hard as she sighed. “I wish to make my mother happy.”
“That was not quite the answer I was looking for.”
“It is the one I shall give,” Annie said with a smile, lifting her chin higher. “So, I shall find a good man, who fits my mother’s criteria, and I shall pray that he shall like and respect me enough for a marriage to be agreed upon.”
“So romantic, be still my beating heart!” Peggy cried, flapping her fan in front of her chest. Annie laughed heartily before turning her gaze on the guests. “What of Lord Myers then? He is certainly a respected man.”