“This is a pretty nice area,” he says absentmindedly. “Are the places you're interested in working at close by?”
“Pretty close, within fifteen miles,” I answer him. I start picking at the napkin in my lap. It’s paper, and shreds easily.
“I love this area.” I shrug as I talk, making it seem like it’s not a big deal. But this conversation is something that needs to happen. There are a lot of low-income areas around here, and the city has a really hard time finding teachers and counselors who last in these school districts. I want to make a commitment to be here and help these kids. That’s why I’m doing this, and why I got into this line of work.
“So that was a big factor in deciding where I wanted to apply,” I tell him, as I take another sip of water. I look over to my right, waiting to see if Kay has our orders coming up soon or not. I know we need to talk about these things, but so much has happened so quickly. I’m nervous that he’s just not gonna want to stay here with me.
“It looks like a place I could get used to,” he says as he taps his fingers on the table.
“Really?” I ask, hopefully.
“It could be. I'd have to look into it a little more,” he says easily, taking me by surprise. I just assumed he'd want to live back at home, since that's where his businesses are. I shift in my seat a little, excited to talk about what his plans are and what he wants to do while he’s here, but as I do, he gets up and says he needs to go to the bathroom.
I watchhis back as he walks away and then my eyes drift to the other side of the booth. He left his wallet and phone on the table. My fingers itch to grab it. I need to know who’s been calling him. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I know that he's not up to anything, but I just need to know what he’s avoiding. I have a good guess it’s Tony. Sandra’s been messaging me a lot about it, about the two of them not getting along. Derek told me not to tell her the truth though. He doesn’t want anyone to know what happened between them.
But it fucking kills me. He already lost his mom. I don’t want him losing his best friend too.
His phone goes off again.
I can’t resist anymore.
The very thought that it could be Tony makes me need to look. This isn’t a habit that I’m going to be making. I’m not gonna be going through his things. Right now I’m just gonna blame it on curiosity. I’m quick to yank it off the table and hit the little button on the side. I scroll down: fifteen unread texts, five missed calls, and two voicemails.
All from Tony.
I hit the button on the side of the phone again and the screen goes black as I slide it back in its place. Right where he had it. It hurts to see how their friendship has deteriorated. I don’t know what to think about Tony. I know my sister loves him. And from what Derek says, Tony really did love Derek’s mom. I don’t know if I could’ve done what he did, but I know she was ready to go. She had some good moments in her life. She had some bad moments, too. She was ready for all of it to be over though. I know that’s true. So does Derek. Deep down in there somewhere. He knows. Even if it hurts.
I wonder if things will ever go back to how they used to be between Tony and Derek. I hope so, since it doesn’t look like Tony’s going to be leaving Sandra’s side anytime soon. My throat dries, and I take another sip of water as Derek slides back into his seat.
“Sandra was asking when we were going to be back in town again,” I say softly as he gets comfortable. He stiffens slightly.
“Is he gonna be there?” He asked, his voice hard.
“You know he is, Derek,” I answer him. My finger brushes along the cold side of the glass as I wait for him to respond.
He clenches his jaw and looks outside of the window to his right. “She was ready,” I dare to speak and try to convince him. “You told me yourself, you didn’t realize it until after everything happened, but she was telling you goodbye.” It’s hard to get out the words, but it breaks my heart to see him and Tony ruined over this. I know in my heart that Tony was only trying to give Derek’s mom peace.
Derek’s silent. I know he wants to get over this. I know he misses his friend. But right now all he has is sadness and anger. It’s something that’s just going to take time.
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask him. He looks down at his phone and back up to me. There’s a look on his face that lets me know he knows I was snooping. I’m fine with that though. I would’ve told him anyway. I can’t keep any secrets from him.
He's quiet for a minute before taking a deep breath. “I don't know,” he admits.
“I’m here for you. No matter what,” I tell him as I grab his hand.
“I don't deserve you,” he says quietly.
“Yes. You. Do.” I emphasize each word.
He doesn't answer me. I don't want him to continue going down this dark path.
Derek cups my face, and looks me in the eye. “I love you, Emma.” My heart swells in my chest. I already knew he did. But hearing him say it and knowing he’s admitted it to himself makes all the difference.
“I love you too, Derek.”
EPILOGUE
Derek