Ruby and Ethan were sitting in a small little canoe in one of the small caves around the beach. They were each holding an oar, but they were no longer rowing. They sat in the canoe, chatting away.
“Any chance you can get some volume?” Lou asked as he leaned back in his seat, lounging comfortably with his long legs crossed. “I wanna watch this movie loud and clear.” With a flick of his wrists, he conjured a bowl of popcorn. He took a mouthful and munched away happily while Portia fiddled with the sound to make it a little louder.
“It would have been nice to get a tutorial from the person who built this damn thing! Any idea who made it?” she arched a brow at Lou, pointedly aiming the question at him.
He stuffed his handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Nope. I’ve got no idea.”
She rolled her eyes, and Lou pointed to the screen.
“Holy shit,” he hollered. “You and Ruby just rolled your eyes at the same damn time!”
“No way.”
“You did.” Lou jumped up from his seat, the popcorn bowl vanishing into thin air. He clicked a few buttons, and Portia watched in fascination as the view of the screen rewound.
On the screen, Ruby rolled her eyes at something Ethan said.
“See? I told you.” Lou laughed. “That’s so funny. She’s so much like you. Now, how should we make this date a little bit more romantic?” He fiddled with one of the controls, and suddenly, the office was filled with the voices of Ethan and Ruby.
“Is it just me, or is the water rising?” Ruby pointed to the edge of the water.
Ethan frowned. “Shit. You’re right. But that makes no sense. The current was …” He stopped short when he noticed that the current had indeed changed direction; he pointed at the churn of the water. “This water doesn’t behave as water should.”
“You’re in a Hell resort, Ethan. Nothing will ever work like you intend it to. I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen more weird stuff. It’s like Hell decided to be really lowkey for you.”
“Is this your doing?” Lou asked Portia.
She giggled. “Yes, it is. The poor man had never had contact with Hell before. I want him to focus on Ruby. He can discover Hell later.”
“I like the way you think. Now, those two ducked into the cave to avoid the sun, and we’ve managed to kick them out of the cave. What would be the most hilarious thing that could happen right now?”
Portia thought about it for a second, but all she could come up with was, “it should start to rain a little bit.”
Lou frowned. “That doesn’t sound very funny. Sounds more romantic.”
She laughed. “Oh? Does it? My bad!”
“Youwantit to be romantic.”
“Obviously.”
“But,” Lou argued, “when shit goes wrong on a date, it’s the best way to know someone’s true nature. If you wanna make sure Little Ruby is hanging out with someone who will treat her right, we should test them. Rather, testhim. Make sure he is worthy of our girl.”
Lou pushed a button, causing the tide to turn again. The little canoe in which sat Ethan and Ruby swayed brusquely on the water. Some of the waves lapped at the edges of the boat, letting in way more water than was good for the boat.
“We’re gonna sink!” Ruby gasped. “How is this even happening? This was clear and smooth a second ago.” Ruby gasped and looked up at the sky. “Do you think that Portia is watching us right now and making this happen?”
Ethan arched a brow at her. “I really don’t wanna think aboutthatright now. We need to make sure we’re gonna be safe. Do you know how to swim?”
“Of course, I know how to swim! I’ve been alive for hundreds of years. Doyouswim?”
“She’s a little spicy, our girl,” Lou commented back in Portia’s office.
“She definitely is. I love that about her. Never a dull moment when she’s around,” Portia said with pride, staring at the screen.
“I swim,” Ethan answered on the screen. “So, at worst, the boat tips over, and we have to swim to shore. Good thing I grabbed these.” He nudged a flip-flopped foot to two lifejackets. “You wanna put it on now while the water is still manageable?”
Ruby shook her head. “No. It’s fine.”