Ilikehim. Ireallydo. He’s sweet, thoughtful, funny, and fucking hot—let’s be real about that, okay?
And I know Maddox isn’t Jacob, but I feel like every time I move forward with him—whether emotionally or physically—I’m also being pulled toward my past, reminded about the last guy who made me feel this way.
Am I always going to feel like this? I honestly don’t know. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I want to move forward. It’s just a lot harder than I thought it would be.
My chest is tight, my mind is muddled, but my heart? It’s both broken and mending simultaneously.Is that even possible?
“You might be okay. But I also know you, and you feelbig, Penelope—about your friends, about your job, about issues that are important to you. And if Maddox is making you feel, soon those feelings are going to overpower you, too.” She smiles softly. “I just want you to be happy and heal. You deserve that. You deserve to let yourself love again without fear of what might happen.”
Shaking my head, I grasp her hand and squeeze it. “Thank you. I know you’re right. I’m just... trying to adjust to everything Maddox is making me face right now while enjoying the high, too. Is that so bad? The feeling of getting to know someone new, that excitement? I haven’t felt that since I was sixteen, Amelia.”
“I know. And no, that’s not bad. Just don’t ignore your past because you’re living in the present.”
“Wouldn’t most people—even therapists, for that matter—advise peoplenotto live in the past but to focus on the here and now?”
She arches a brow at me. “Yes, but most people don’t have a past like yours.”
I can’t even argue with her. “Touché, my friend. Touché.”
Before either of us can say another word, a commotion commands our attention as Maddox, Hayden, Vince, and a bunch of the other players on the team waltz through the gates of the park, heading in my direction.
And just seeing that beautiful man walking toward me has my heart doing somersaults again.
Dressed in white t-shirts with the Los Angeles Bolts logo on them, they stride across the grass in a line like a scene out of an action movie—or maybe Baywatch would be more appropriate. If they were shirtless, that is.Perhaps I need to see if I can make that happen. Sex sells, right?
Amelia playfully nudges me again. “Looks like the boys are here.”
“That they are.”
A few seconds later, Nick, Damien, Ethan, and Jeffrey make their way over to where Amelia and I are standing under a tree for shade.
“Are they here yet?” Jeffrey asks, nearly bouncing in his excitement.
“They’re walking over here right now,” I say, pointing toward Maddox and the other guys. Maddox’s eyes lock on mine just then, and the spread of his lips makes butterflies take flight in my stomach again.
“Oh my God,” Jeffrey squeals and then clears his throat. “Holy shit, I think I might pee my pants.”
“If you do, I’m disowning you as a friend,” Damien mutters from his side.
“I’ll just blame it on a puppy later. Puppies piss on everything, right? Even people?”
Nick chimes in. “I think I’m going to start hyperventilating.”
Ethan looks over at him, his eyebrows scrunched together. “I really wish you wouldn’t. You guys need to get a grip on yourselves. They’re just guys, men who throw and catch a football for a living. It’s not a big deal.”
At that very moment, Maddox and the boys arrive. “Good morning, Penelope,” he says, staring right at me and ignoring the gawking of all of the men standing around me. “The gang’s all here, and we’re ready to get to work.”
“Good morning. Thanks again for coming, guys.”
Jeffrey clears his throat beside me, pulling my attention to him. With wide eyes, he juts his head in Maddox’s direction. Luckily, I’ve known the man long enough to pick up on his not-so-subtle hints. Plus, I kind of already knew this moment was coming.
I turn back to Maddox. “Before I take you over to the booth to sign in, I would like to introduce you to some friends of mine. Boys, this is Jeffrey.”
Maddox reaches out to shake Jeffrey’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Jeffrey.”
“Holy shit, you have big hands,” he says, offering his for a handshake. “Your dick must be huge.”
I almost attest to that but catch myself and instead try not to laugh. I hear Amelia giggling behind me.