“I will go,” I said, lifting my chin and moving to stand behind the guards. This was one of the most mortifying—and heartbreaking—moments of my life. Everyone knew that I failed, that I wasn’t enough for a commander. That I wasn’t his mate. I’d failed.
“I will stay with him,” I murmured past a lump in my throat. I would not cry.
“In jail?” Tia countered.
“I’ve been there before. I am not afraid.” And the truth of it was, I couldn’t bear to leave his side.
“He won’t be there long, I’m afraid.” Engel sidled up to his daughter’s shoulder with a resigned sigh. “In cases like this, the execution order will most likely be reinstated and carried out swiftly.”
It was like he’d stabbed me in the gut with a dagger. “How long does he have?” I wasn’t afraid of the jail. I was afraid of what was going to happen to Deek. It was because of me that he was in trouble again. I didn’t mate him correctly. His seed didn’t take, or bond, or whatever. I wasn’t enough for him. I hadn’t pleased his beast enough.
“Hours.” Dax answered my question. Tears gathered in my eyes, but I didn’t have time for a mental breakdown. They were leading my mate out into a large vehicle of some kind for transport to the prison.
Deek was going to die. This time, I wasn’t going to be able to save him.
Dax escorted me to the prison transport and I was assisted into the back by one of the guards. I didn’t look him in the eye. I didn’t look anyone in the eye. I didn’t want to see pity there, or judgment. And if I saw even a hint of sympathy, I was going to lose it. Tears. Big, fat ugly cry.
I loved my mate. I loved him. He was big and brutish and all fucking man. He’d made me feel beautiful and worthy and wanted for the first time in my life, and I didn’t want to give that up. I loved the way he fucked me up against the wall. The way he shouldered his head between my thighs and licked and sucked until I screamed his name. I loved the way he stared at my body, at my breasts and belly, as if I were a delicious treat. I loved being with him.
And now, because of me, he was going to die.
I sat in silence for the short ride to the prison, where I was helped from the vehicle with Deek close behind. He was still panting, his skin flushed and his eyes darting around like every shadow held an enemy.
With a sigh, I followed the small column of warriors who walked us down the long, cream-colored hallway and back to the same cell he’d been in when I arrived. Block 4. Cell 11.
I walked into the cell and straight to the bed where I climbed up onto the mattress and curled into a ball on my side.
If Deek came for me, I would try my best to soothe him. But even if I fucked his brains out, sucked his cock, made him grunt and growl and say my name with a reverence I’d never heard from anyone else, it wouldn’t matter.
I could fuck him silly, but I couldn’t control his beast. Only his true mate could do that. Only his true mate could save him. And if that female appeared now and took him, mating with him, easing his beast, my heart would break into a million tiny little pieces. He was supposed to be mine. Forever.
I heard the force field they called a grav-wall turn on, but I ignored it. I kept my back to Deek as he paced and growled. I couldn’t bear to look at him. It hurt too much.
Tears slid in silent streams from my eyelids and into the bedding. Deek didn’t speak to me, but after a while he climbed onto the bed and lay down beside me, pulling me into his arms. My back pressed to his overheated chest, his monster-sized arms wrapped around me. I was mentally exhausted, but refused to sleep.
If we only had a few hours left, I didn’t want to waste them oblivious to the warmth of my Deek’s arms around me.
The heavy golden chain around my neck suddenly felt like a curse, like a taunt, a tease. That gold represented forever, my place in Deek’s family.
And now it meant nothing but lost dreams and regret.
* * *
I must have drifted off, for when I next opened my eyes, it was to hear women’s voices. I thought it odd, then remembered what Sarah had told me about Atlan women parading through this prison they called a containment facility to offer the Atlan males one last chance at finding a mate. Their presence filled me with rage as I considered the possibility that one of them might be a match for Deek.
He was mine.
Except he wasn’t. Or we wouldn’t be here.
Lifting my hand, I ran the sensitive tips of my fingers along the gold and dark gray carved links around my neck. They were a symbol of my claim on Deek, my status as his matched mate. They were a visible declaration of my hold over him, of my ability to control his beast.
Except, I’d failed.
Perhaps one of those women would be more beautiful, more desirable. Perhaps one of them could save him.
Unfortunately, there was only one way to determine if any of them coming through the facility could offer solace to the males condemned to die. That, of course, included fucking to see if the beast was compatible.
I shifted beneath the heavy arm thrown over my waist and scooted from the bed as quietly as I could. When Deek stirred, I murmured for him to go back to sleep. Which, to my extreme shock, he did.