Hannah would not look at me, not the way she looked at Dare. She was supposed to be my match. Mine. Yet she turned to him, trusted him, wrapped her naked arms around him and slept.
I wanted her to accept him as her second. I needed her to accept him, but a dark and angry part of me twisted on the inside when I saw them together like this, when I wanted and couldn’t have her affections. I needed her in a deeper, darker way than what she could handle and my frustration with not taking what I needed from her made me blunt and too curt with her, which sent her running back to Dare. It was more powerful with the collars.
With me she was constantly nervous, fidgeting and biting her bottom lip because she could sense I was… off. She seldom looked me in the eye, and rarely laughed if I was in the room. Dare spent more time with her than I did, my role as commander keeping me away from her much more than I liked.
I understood the logical reasons why she would feel more comfortable with him. He was more affectionate. He touched her in little ways, smiled at her, and constantly brought her gifts. Me? I wanted to pin her back to the wall and fuck her like a wild animal. I wanted to tie her to my bed and force orgasms from her beautiful body until she broke from the pleasure, until she ceased to think and could only feel what I gave her. I wanted to spank, paddle, and flog her perfect ass as I controlled her body, her orgasms, her very pleasure. Until she lost herself completely and forgot her own name, but not mine. I would have one name fall from her lips, when nothing else mattered to her: master.
As commander, I needed an outlet, a release for the stress and yet I knew it couldn’t come at the price of her body. I was beginning to doubt the matching process. She was supposed to be perfect for me, but she was fragile and so small. The things I wanted would just scare her more, so I held back. I tried to be more like Dare. Softer with her. Tender. Careful not to scare her. And it wasn’t working. It wasn’t fucking working.
I’d decided to seek outside guidance. Enough was enough. I needed an expert, and in my fleet, when it came to human women, there was only one.
A snooze alarm sounded and Dare’s eyes opened instantly. His gaze settled on me at once. His reflexes were as sharp as ever, which was one of the reasons I trusted him to keep my Hannah safe.
“Zane.”
I nodded and looked at Hannah’s dark hair where it rested nestled in the crook of his arm. I ached to reach out and stroke the silky strands, especially now when she was asleep. She wouldn’t be withdrawn or resistant if she wasn’t awake. “How is she?”
“I told you, she senses something with you. The collar allows her to feel your rejection.”
My eyebrows went up. “I’m not rejecting her!” I tried to keep my voice low, but it was difficult.
“You aren’t showing all of yourself and she knows it. You’re frustrated with her lack of acceptance, but how can she accept you when she knows you’re holding back? Growling at her all the time isn’t going to help us win our claim.” Dare’s voice was barely more than a whisper, and I lowered mine to match. Neither one of us wanted her awake for this conversation.
This was also the first time Dare had spoken to me about Hannah’s feelings and I crossed my arms. Was my caution with her that obvious? “All right, second. Tell me what you need to tell me. My matched mate is afraid of me. What else do I need to know?”
Dare rolled his eyes and I wanted to punch him. “She’s afraid of loving you. She’s afraid one of us is going to die, of course, but besides that, she knows you aren’t giving her everything when she’s practically bared her soul.”
“That’s life for a Prillon bride.”
“You are such a hard ass, Zane. Was your head diamond hard when your mother gave birth to you? Or did you grow into it?” Dare sighed and gently moved our sleeping mate off his shoulder. She was dead to the world, as she was most mornings. Not an early riser, my Hannah.
My second slid from the bed and I grit my teeth as I saw that they were both very naked. I enjoyed fucking my mate, but she did not curl around me and sleep as she did with Dare. I wanted that trust from her. I needed it with a ferocity that was eating me alive, burning in my gut like acid devouring my flesh from the inside.
Dare used the S-Gen to summon a clean uniform and put it on. He was due on the flight deck in less than an hour. I was sending his unit to scout the enemy base that had been reported on the fifth planet’s moon in the system. If the reports were true, the Hive was expanding their territory again. Which was bad news for everyone.
Dressed and ready, Dare stopped before me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Look, Zane, you need to talk to her more. She lost her parents when she was young. Her brother was a weakling and a parasite, and the men of her world took advantage of her submissive nature. They used her. The master she trusted to care for her used her up like a selfish child and hurt her, badly.”
“This is exactly why I can’t let her see my baser side. If she’s this fearful of me now, imagine what it would be like if she knew the truth.”
Dare slowly shook his head. “You’re pushing her away and she’s doing the same. Both of you are stubborn. Perhaps you should trust in the matching protocols. Maybe she wants you just as you are.”
I looked from Dare’s pleading gaze to the beautiful and very fragile female in my bed. “Doubtful,” I grumbled. She wouldn’t want me if she knew the truth of my ways. “She has told me none of her secrets—about these men.” I spat out the last word as if it were distasteful. Anyone who used a woman as Dare described was not a real man.
“You haven’t asked.” Dare slapped me on the shoulder and turned to leave me alone with my mate, but I felt the need to warn him.
“Prince Nial is going out on patrol with you.”
Dare rolled his eyes. “Again? Seriously, Zane, when are you going to send that spoiled little playboy home?”
“Explain yourself.” I knew my shoulders had stiffened up, but Dare was throwing caution to the wind this day, speaking his mind about more than just our mate.
“He’s reckless, Zane. He takes too many chances. It’s like he thinks he’s invisible to the Hive. I’ve had to cover his ass more than once.”
I chuckled. Yes, my cousin, Prince Nial, was all that and more. “He’s young, Dare. Were we not invincible once as well?”
Dare shrugged. “Don’t blame me if he gets his ass killed.”
“Noted.” Dare left me alone with my bride and I stared down at her with hunger for her touch gnawing at me from the inside.