I force my eyes to meet his and his own eyes narrow. He cocks his head to one side. ‘You’re in love with her, aren’t you?’
‘She’s been back in my life a fortnight.’
‘That’s not what I asked.’
I stare at him, mute, my chest tight, my heart twisting, my pulse racing. Do I? Is that why this is killing me? Why the pressure of being around her again, knowing she will eventually leave, is dominating my every thought and I have no control over it?
There’s no teasing in Juan’s face now. His smile is soft, his eyes sickeningly sympathetic.
‘I know I’m not the best advocate for love, but my aunt swears she knew within seconds of meeting my uncle that he was the one for her. Love at first sight, she reckons—and, hell, they’ve been married forty years and counting. They’re still like those lovesick teenagers who fled Colombia together. It’s stomach-turning...but also kind of sweet.’
I give a gruff laugh. ‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a little envious.’
‘Because you look so good on it yourself?’
He’s got you there.
‘Look, Edward, if she’s the one...and, let’s face it, you’ve walked the earth and bedded enough women to know the difference by now...do something about it.’
‘I can’t.’
‘“Can’t” isn’t in your vocabulary. You told me that over a decade ago, when I told you we couldn’t save that renewable energy company. But we did it. And achieved a whole lot more with it too.’
‘That’s business.’
‘You say potato...’ He shrugs. ‘Sounds to me like you’re just running scared.’
‘And what if I am?’ I say, sick of fighting it, denying it.
The look of surprise on his face is a picture. ‘You really do have it bad.’
I do.
I swallow. Not that I can say it out loud. Not when I have no idea what to do about it.
‘So what’s the problem? She doesn’t like you? Is that it?’
Likeme? Ha! She liked me well enough two weeks ago.
Until I shut down and pushed her out.
‘She likes me well enough...when I’m not behaving like an arse.’
‘So fix the attitude and go after her—what have you got to lose?’
‘Her.’ That’s the simple and painful answer. ‘She won’t stick around. By her own admission she never stays in one place long enough to form connections, have a relationship...’
‘Sounds like someone else I know.’
Another grunt.
‘Seriously, look at yourself and your own history—who’s to say it won’t be different for you both this time?’
I give a huff...but isn’t he talking some sense?
‘Rather than being an arse, why not try being a man worth sticking around for?’
A flicker of light sparks inside me. Hope. ‘Using my own words against me?’ I ask.
‘Something like that.’ He grips my shoulder in encouragement, support. ‘You’ve never been one to shy away from risk in business. So why start now with your personal life?’