Her eyes probe mine. ‘Why?’
‘Are you seriously asking me that?’
Her cheeks flush a delectable shade of pink, her lack of make-up offering up no protection from my watchful eye. She used to go in for heavy eyeliner, pale foundation, subtle blusher... Not that she needed it then—or now. Though I’m sure she’d appreciate its concealing benefits if I told her that her skin gives away her every emotion. Anger. Frustration. Sadness... Desire.
‘Do you have somewhere else you need to be for the next year, Edward? Or do you simply want to get away from me?’
My laugh is cold and abrupt as I turn to the window. I don’t want her to see the bitterness in my face. I don’t want her to know how much it stung when she left.
Her shocking departure cut deeper than the emotional neglect I suffered at the hands of my parents and has affected every relationship I’ve attempted since.
No one gets to see me that weak. Not any more.
‘Want to swap letters?’ she murmurs into the quiet, and I flinch.
‘Hell, no.’
‘Spoilsport,’ she mutters under her breath.
Silence descends—heavy, strained—and I count the seconds until I can break out of the car, break free of her...
I’ve never been more relieved to see the front of a department store. The five-storey building a welcome sight of sandstone, granite and gleaming glass. I leap out as soon as the car pulls up and catch the tail-end of Summer’s hushed laughter as I go.
I wait for her on the pavement and she strides straight past me, her words trailing on the chilling breeze. ‘I never thought I’d see you so eager to shop, Edward.’
I bite my lip. Me neither.
Oh, Gran, if you could see me now you’d be laughing with her...or maybe that was your intention all along.
Summer
I thought nothing could beat the weird adrenaline rush of shopping with Edward.
At first, I was hesitant. ‘Uncooperative’, to use his word. But I’ve never been a girly-girl. I’ve never had the cash to spare or the friends to shop with. Moving from foster home to foster home, school to school, can do that to you.
But under his undivided attention, hearing his honest opinion on what worked and what didn’t, what colours, what styles... I was lapping it up by the end.
It sure beat the animosity tainting our every other interaction up until now...even the one when he’d apologised. Sort of.
And with every compliment he paid my body warmed, and my ego with it. Not that he was flirting, or anything close. He said it like a statement of fact. Like it should be obvious to me what shades brought out the blue of my eyes, the honey in my hair...
It didn’t mean anything. But it had been so long since anyone had taken charge with my interests at heart. He cared that I didn’t catch my death and it felt...it felt good. Dangerously good to let someone care for me on some level and take the lead.
But now I’m here, in his helicopter, of all things, with the Scottish landscape drifting by beneath us. A patchwork quilt of greens, browns and hints of purple. Landbound lochs and rolling hills. Seeing it all from the air is incredible—an adrenaline-packed ride, quite literally.
‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re enjoying this.’
Edward’s voice crackles through my headset and I can’t help the smile that’s busting my cheeks.
‘It is stunning!’
‘And yet you’ve stayed away for so long.’
His sudden attack steals my breath and I look back to the window, hide my guilt, my confusion, my pain. How could he begin to understand how I felt? He was born into his world, Katherine’s world, and for all his grandmother tried to make me feel at home she couldn’t eradicate the doubt. The doubt that Edward’s own mother had picked up on and used against me.
‘It was better that way.’
I grip my hands together in my lap. Better for who? I feel the dig in my ribs—a sharp, acute pain. Selfish. Selfish. Selfish. Protecting myself when I should have been...